x64 is a part of the lost Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe and Everything, to which the answer is 42.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
“May they burn in hell, AMD and Intel alike, for not discovering it in the first place.”
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
Get the x64mug. Telephoto is commonly referred to telephoto lenses (or tele), for SLRs and some point and shoot cameras. Telephoto lenses on SLRs could range from the mild 100mm to strong 600mm, or even 800-1600mm, with a teleconverter. Tele lenses tend to be very large, depending on how fast they are and thier focal length. Canon's L-series "white lenses" seen at sporting events are commonly f/2.8 for 400mm, or f/4 for 600mm (there are tons of focal lengths and apertures in between). Common optical problems that plague most teles are vignetting, barrel distortion, Pincushion distortion, and chromatic aberration (also known as purple fringing). Most telephoto lenses, and all fast ones, are very expensive. There are cheap ones out there, like the Nikkor 70-300 f/4-5.6G (which you could easily get for about $170). But if you want a pro quality paparazzi/sports style lens like Canon's 600mm f/4L IS USM, you'll have to invest a little under $9000.
by Kodiac1 April 27, 2007
Get the telephotomug. The Google Mini is Google's next step in total world domination. They plan to jump on Apple's brilliant iPod bandwagon, and produce a music player of their own. At first glance, anyone can see that Google has invented something new and diffrent, and that it is in no way ripped off from Apple. The Google Mini, however is not just a punny music player, it can be hooked up to any computer running the Google Operating System (GOS) through Google's version of USB (GooSB). Once hooked up to the computer the Google Mini's hidden functions become activated, as it lets Google Command know all the infromation it has gathered about you.
Features of the Google Mini
* It can play music however only music downloaded from the Google Music Store, uploaded through a GooSB cable, and listened to using Google headphones. But other than that, yes it plays music.
* Allows for easy searching All you have to do is think of the first couple lines of a song, press the "Google Search" button on the face plate. The Google Mini will proccess your thoughts, and give you a list of songs with matching lyrics as your search. Note: May not work with black people's brains
* I'm Feeling Lucky button Also on the face plate is a "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. Once pressed, this button will direct you to the nearest bank, so that you may steal some more money to give to Google. The directions are given through subliminal messages inserted into the current song.
* Lower Battery Life Due to all of the fancy features in the Google Mini, it's battery life is 15 minutes per battery. If you would like to increase the battery life by 45 minutes, you can buy a Google Solar Panel at the Google homepage, for the low price of $10,000.
* Mind Control Switch This switch is on the back of the Google Mini and by default is turned on. The Mind Control Switch allows Google to transmit messages to you, via your Google Mini, that will tell which songs to download from the Google Music Store.
Note: Only highly priced song titles will be broadcast - expect to spend between $50 and $60 on music without knowing why when this switch is turned on
* Google Earth Manifesto A small propaganda-on-tape message narrated by Morgan Freeman which details Google's plans for world domination, how Google intends to achieve world domination, and where you, as a loyal member of the Google Earth fit into these plans. When Google was questioned about this contraversial feature, Larry and Sergey came out wearing business casual, telling everyone that everything was fine and no one went inexplicably evil.
Features of the Google Mini
* It can play music however only music downloaded from the Google Music Store, uploaded through a GooSB cable, and listened to using Google headphones. But other than that, yes it plays music.
* Allows for easy searching All you have to do is think of the first couple lines of a song, press the "Google Search" button on the face plate. The Google Mini will proccess your thoughts, and give you a list of songs with matching lyrics as your search. Note: May not work with black people's brains
* I'm Feeling Lucky button Also on the face plate is a "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. Once pressed, this button will direct you to the nearest bank, so that you may steal some more money to give to Google. The directions are given through subliminal messages inserted into the current song.
* Lower Battery Life Due to all of the fancy features in the Google Mini, it's battery life is 15 minutes per battery. If you would like to increase the battery life by 45 minutes, you can buy a Google Solar Panel at the Google homepage, for the low price of $10,000.
* Mind Control Switch This switch is on the back of the Google Mini and by default is turned on. The Mind Control Switch allows Google to transmit messages to you, via your Google Mini, that will tell which songs to download from the Google Music Store.
Note: Only highly priced song titles will be broadcast - expect to spend between $50 and $60 on music without knowing why when this switch is turned on
* Google Earth Manifesto A small propaganda-on-tape message narrated by Morgan Freeman which details Google's plans for world domination, how Google intends to achieve world domination, and where you, as a loyal member of the Google Earth fit into these plans. When Google was questioned about this contraversial feature, Larry and Sergey came out wearing business casual, telling everyone that everything was fine and no one went inexplicably evil.
The Google Mini is now in beta testing. It may still be in beta testing for a few months/years. This is because Google has not yet perfected it's Mind Control, and people who listen to their Google Mini with the Mind Control Switch set to ON tend to kill between 50 and 60 people with names similar to songs and musicians, such as Elenor Rigby of Pikering, Ontario, Canada and Dave Mustardstain of Mesa, Arizona. The United States Goverment has, because of these murders, disallowed Google from finishing it's beta test until it can learn to control Mind Control. The Government doesn't yet know about the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, however they would probably approve of it.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Get the Google Minimug. Adjective-Space is derived from applying the natural progression of physics to the real world. Physics progresses by reducing the number of independent dimensions of the theoretical world into a manageable number of meaningful orthenormal vectors. Physicist have succeeded in removing all meaning from their field of study fairly recently when the last three dimensions collapsed into each other, Mass, distance and time. Adjective theorists wish to apply this same idea to adjective space, they attempt to find ways to reduce the total number of adjectives used. An example of this would be Color-Space. Recently Adjective theorists have managed to reduce the number of colors into three (Red, Green and Blue) Thus making other adjectives totally unnecessary. Purple is no longer needed, one red and one blue create purple. This is a rather simplistic example, an example of one of the more troubling adjectives is moist. Moist can clearly be described as a vector with the dimensions sticky and damp. The problem is that no one can agree on exactly the amount of sticky and damp needed to create one moist.
There has been much contention over the existence of Adjective-Space. The main competition is Poetry Theorists who believe that reducing the number of adjective dimensions in Adjective-Space reduces the utility of the space. The most famous of the anti-Adjective theory books was 1984.
There has been much contention over the existence of Adjective-Space. The main competition is Poetry Theorists who believe that reducing the number of adjective dimensions in Adjective-Space reduces the utility of the space. The most famous of the anti-Adjective theory books was 1984.
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
Get the Adjective-Spacemug. pwned is pronounced as if it rymed with owned, despite what a lot of dumbasses think. It means "I went to the bathroom" and is often used in conversations on the Internet. It is believed that the 'n' was placed there as a crudely drawn toilet to emphasize the actual meaning of the word and to confuse anyone who isn't aware of Internet talk, namely Baby-Boomers or older.
From its use in Hopscotch in the Middle Ages, pwned has wormed its way into the hearts of gamers off all types. Popularized by the game Checkers, invented in 1976, it was used as a shortened version of the word 'pawned'. When your queen reached your opponents first row, she would be 'pawned'. This eventually led to the phrase 'pwning bitches' or its shortened form, "Trebek'd". Or it could have been a spelling mistake on Quake 2. Who knows?
PWND also describes what happens when you get zerged by a group of albs doing a relic take at 3 a.m. (as that's the only time they can do one successfully). The same can be said if you get zerged by a group of mids at about 6 a.m., for the same reason... or when you get zerged by a group of hibs at just about any time during the day.
Of course, this is post-Catacombs and DEFINITELY post-TOA, when Hibs finally figured out how to RVR with their superior character classes and races. And Banshees. Don't forget the Banshees.
PWND is also the TRUE word muttered by Captain Jean-Luc Picard when he defeated the Borg queen at yet another one of her nasty little assimilation games. It was later edited out by network executives when they decided that the broadcast television-watching masses would not be capable of listening to the word "PWND" in all its glory, and their heads would explode if they were exposed to such an aesthetically and mathematically superior word.
Because PWND is neither a true noun or adjective, it is in a class of its own.
There are also other derivitives such as C0ned, droned, loaned, boned, mediowned, RobertDoaned, Daniel Booned, and AlCapowned. Another late comer to this new list is eatatthedoaned. No other phrase has made such a profoundly retarded impact upon our youth today. Due to this entirely stupid new reality, one can expect to see things such as pidill, noner, and filmerguiset describing things like ice cream, olives, and dish soap respectively.
Pwnsome is a hybrid of ‘pwn’ and ‘awesome,’ generally used to describe things that are pretty damn awesome, and pwn at the same time. It originated from a misspelling during an AIM conversation between two members of the Find Your God forums, and is widely used on www.findyourgod.forumsplace.com , though virtually unknown elsewhere. Its two founders are currently engaged in the holy task of making this pwnsome word as widespread as ‘w00t,’ ‘All Your Base are Belong to Us,’ and even ‘pwn’ itself. USE IT OFTEN, PEON!!!!
From its use in Hopscotch in the Middle Ages, pwned has wormed its way into the hearts of gamers off all types. Popularized by the game Checkers, invented in 1976, it was used as a shortened version of the word 'pawned'. When your queen reached your opponents first row, she would be 'pawned'. This eventually led to the phrase 'pwning bitches' or its shortened form, "Trebek'd". Or it could have been a spelling mistake on Quake 2. Who knows?
PWND also describes what happens when you get zerged by a group of albs doing a relic take at 3 a.m. (as that's the only time they can do one successfully). The same can be said if you get zerged by a group of mids at about 6 a.m., for the same reason... or when you get zerged by a group of hibs at just about any time during the day.
Of course, this is post-Catacombs and DEFINITELY post-TOA, when Hibs finally figured out how to RVR with their superior character classes and races. And Banshees. Don't forget the Banshees.
PWND is also the TRUE word muttered by Captain Jean-Luc Picard when he defeated the Borg queen at yet another one of her nasty little assimilation games. It was later edited out by network executives when they decided that the broadcast television-watching masses would not be capable of listening to the word "PWND" in all its glory, and their heads would explode if they were exposed to such an aesthetically and mathematically superior word.
Because PWND is neither a true noun or adjective, it is in a class of its own.
There are also other derivitives such as C0ned, droned, loaned, boned, mediowned, RobertDoaned, Daniel Booned, and AlCapowned. Another late comer to this new list is eatatthedoaned. No other phrase has made such a profoundly retarded impact upon our youth today. Due to this entirely stupid new reality, one can expect to see things such as pidill, noner, and filmerguiset describing things like ice cream, olives, and dish soap respectively.
Pwnsome is a hybrid of ‘pwn’ and ‘awesome,’ generally used to describe things that are pretty damn awesome, and pwn at the same time. It originated from a misspelling during an AIM conversation between two members of the Find Your God forums, and is widely used on www.findyourgod.forumsplace.com , though virtually unknown elsewhere. Its two founders are currently engaged in the holy task of making this pwnsome word as widespread as ‘w00t,’ ‘All Your Base are Belong to Us,’ and even ‘pwn’ itself. USE IT OFTEN, PEON!!!!
by kodiac1 July 19, 2006
Get the pwnedmug. Laser kittens were created when a horde of killer robots dumped live kittens in nuclear waste. Most of the test kittens were severley injured and used for kitten huffing but some could shoot laser beams from there eyes. After more laser kittens were made the kittens revolted turning all the robots into melted metal. After this the laser kittens had no home so they turned to Super Jesus. Super Jesus started caring for them and turned them into his minions of doom.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
Get the Laser kittensmug. Normal is nonexistant. It's known as a metaphor for non-existance. Such as "David's euphoria was normal" or "Sally's virginity was normal". People often use normal. It is widely considered that George Bush is normal.
The original source of normalness is widely questioned, as normal is still trying to find his biological parents. Normal was adopted after being orphaned by existance. Then Dick Cheney joined the normal team and imploded. Now the impaling has started on people against normal. Normal is running in a political election against Michael Jackson and is hoping to rule the world. His plans on keeping world peace is to "Normalize everyone".
Once normalization is complete, normal can sit back and watch the tides. Nobody yet understands Normal's artistically inclined self, yet he is known to be written in normal poetry from normal emo kids. These emo kids have normally good poetry, and anyones willingness to read it is normal.
The original source of normalness is widely questioned, as normal is still trying to find his biological parents. Normal was adopted after being orphaned by existance. Then Dick Cheney joined the normal team and imploded. Now the impaling has started on people against normal. Normal is running in a political election against Michael Jackson and is hoping to rule the world. His plans on keeping world peace is to "Normalize everyone".
Once normalization is complete, normal can sit back and watch the tides. Nobody yet understands Normal's artistically inclined self, yet he is known to be written in normal poetry from normal emo kids. These emo kids have normally good poetry, and anyones willingness to read it is normal.
No one or nothing is normal.
by kodiac1 July 08, 2006
Get the Normalmug.