Kodiac1's definitions
Do you have an irrational, yet somehow compelling grudge against all of humanity, or even just some sections of it, like France, for example? Perhaps you have a point to make, but writing letters just doesn't cut it, and a big explosion would really help people to get the idea. If this is you, then see a doctor, you mad fucker, the Capybara bomb might be just what you need.
The Capybara bomb is a surprisingly successful stealth weapon composed of:
1. A capybara
2. Dynamite
The animal
Ah, the capybara, my old friend how you lollop through life, swimming in rivers and snuffling dung, all the while unaware that TERRORISTS! are seeking to use you in their nefarious plans. Never mind. Let's take a closer look at the furry little dope.
The capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochæris) is a semi-aquatic herbivorous animal with a brain the size of a tangerine. Full-grown capybarae reach between 105 and 135 cm (40-55 in) in length. They are peaceful, fun-loving creatures that like dancing and poker. They look like giant guinea pigs.
Most importantly, however, the average capybara can safely hold up to 7 sticks of dynamite.
The dynamite
Any old dynamite will do. Just wash it, shove it in and go.
Advantages
1. Absolutely no one expects that a capybara is going to explode.
2. They are very docile and tolerant animals, and especially so when dynamite is being inserted.
A capybara bomb can be used pretty much anywhere but they are especially useful for TERRORISTS! who hate zoos. The range and damage capabilities of the device are limited to around 1 meter (3.2808399 feet). This is good for blowing up telephone boxes, small cars and litter bins.
Uses
If you want to blow up a really big thing, then you'll need more than one capybara. A whole lorry load of capybarae could probably bring down a Wal-Mart, but if you're stopped for any reason, it's going to be really hard to come up with a sufficiently good reason as to why you are driving a consignment of 500 capybarae with dynamite up their asses, to the Wal-Mart.
The Capybara bomb is a surprisingly successful stealth weapon composed of:
1. A capybara
2. Dynamite
The animal
Ah, the capybara, my old friend how you lollop through life, swimming in rivers and snuffling dung, all the while unaware that TERRORISTS! are seeking to use you in their nefarious plans. Never mind. Let's take a closer look at the furry little dope.
The capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochæris) is a semi-aquatic herbivorous animal with a brain the size of a tangerine. Full-grown capybarae reach between 105 and 135 cm (40-55 in) in length. They are peaceful, fun-loving creatures that like dancing and poker. They look like giant guinea pigs.
Most importantly, however, the average capybara can safely hold up to 7 sticks of dynamite.
The dynamite
Any old dynamite will do. Just wash it, shove it in and go.
Advantages
1. Absolutely no one expects that a capybara is going to explode.
2. They are very docile and tolerant animals, and especially so when dynamite is being inserted.
A capybara bomb can be used pretty much anywhere but they are especially useful for TERRORISTS! who hate zoos. The range and damage capabilities of the device are limited to around 1 meter (3.2808399 feet). This is good for blowing up telephone boxes, small cars and litter bins.
Uses
If you want to blow up a really big thing, then you'll need more than one capybara. A whole lorry load of capybarae could probably bring down a Wal-Mart, but if you're stopped for any reason, it's going to be really hard to come up with a sufficiently good reason as to why you are driving a consignment of 500 capybarae with dynamite up their asses, to the Wal-Mart.
by kodiac1 September 5, 2008
Get the Capybara bomb mug.by Kodiac1 September 27, 2007
Get the negs mug.Telephoto is commonly referred to telephoto lenses (or tele), for SLRs and some point and shoot cameras. Telephoto lenses on SLRs could range from the mild 100mm to strong 600mm, or even 800-1600mm, with a teleconverter. Tele lenses tend to be very large, depending on how fast they are and thier focal length. Canon's L-series "white lenses" seen at sporting events are commonly f/2.8 for 400mm, or f/4 for 600mm (there are tons of focal lengths and apertures in between). Common optical problems that plague most teles are vignetting, barrel distortion, Pincushion distortion, and chromatic aberration (also known as purple fringing). Most telephoto lenses, and all fast ones, are very expensive. There are cheap ones out there, like the Nikkor 70-300 f/4-5.6G (which you could easily get for about $170). But if you want a pro quality paparazzi/sports style lens like Canon's 600mm f/4L IS USM, you'll have to invest a little under $9000.
by Kodiac1 April 27, 2007
Get the telephoto mug.WTF (Windows Text File) is a plain-text file format developed by Microsoft. It is intended for storing text information in readable form. Many users report problems opening it, because most systems don't know what to do with the .wtf file extension. The resulting error messsage "WTF? Unknown file extension!" is widely known. The chat acronym WTF is commonly used to signify uncertainty or unpleasant surprise.
As part of Microsoft's effort to develop free, open, user-friendly software environments, it is constantly improving file formats. After WMV (Windows Media Video) and (WMA - Windows Media Audio), it published proposals for WMP (Windows Media Picture) and WTF (Windows Text File) in May, 2006.
"WTF?" is the usual response by many users, who are not sure how Microsoft intends to compete with TXT format. Microsoft's release timeline calls for the TXT format to be made obsolete within months, by disallowing Windows Vista to open .txt files.
As part of Microsoft's effort to develop free, open, user-friendly software environments, it is constantly improving file formats. After WMV (Windows Media Video) and (WMA - Windows Media Audio), it published proposals for WMP (Windows Media Picture) and WTF (Windows Text File) in May, 2006.
"WTF?" is the usual response by many users, who are not sure how Microsoft intends to compete with TXT format. Microsoft's release timeline calls for the TXT format to be made obsolete within months, by disallowing Windows Vista to open .txt files.
System Requirements
* '$30.00' license fee for usage
* Cheese grater
* 76 IQ maximum (any more and KERNEL32 takes a dive)
wtf
* '$30.00' license fee for usage
* Cheese grater
* 76 IQ maximum (any more and KERNEL32 takes a dive)
wtf
by Kodiac1 December 12, 2006
Get the Wtf mug.Sissies are those sensitive people. They won’t eat meat and they cry all the time. Context is for them.
The relationship between sissies and emos is as follows:
sissies = emo
The evidence is compelling.
If you see a sissy, you should beat the crap out of them. It’s good for them. It makes them tough.
Actually it doesn’t, but it’s really funny to listen to them squeal.
If they try to talk to you, cut them off with a firm, "shut up." If they persist, punch them.
It’s a well-known fact that a good knee-to-the-groin will dissuade even the most clingy of sissies.
The relationship between sissies and emos is as follows:
sissies = emo
The evidence is compelling.
If you see a sissy, you should beat the crap out of them. It’s good for them. It makes them tough.
Actually it doesn’t, but it’s really funny to listen to them squeal.
If they try to talk to you, cut them off with a firm, "shut up." If they persist, punch them.
It’s a well-known fact that a good knee-to-the-groin will dissuade even the most clingy of sissies.
One of the best insults in existence was derived from the annoying qualities of sissies. It goes as follows:
"____ is for sissies!"
Brilliance.
Sissy.
"____ is for sissies!"
Brilliance.
Sissy.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Get the Sissy mug.Lacrosse is a sport which one plays when the college is too small to have a football team. The main goal of the sport is unclear, but the primary aspects of it include shirtless, sweaty men-women chasing after each other with butterfly nets.
Lacrosse was clearMYAH!ly invented by a raving madman. History says that the raving madman in question may have been Aztec or Mayan, but no one is terribly sure. Lacrosse saw a surge in popularity when Pope Julius II declared ex-cathedra that "soccer is gay (sic)". Since then, there has been a significant amount of emnity between soccer players and lacrosse players.
More recently, lacrosse is the first sport that allowed woodland creatures to manage teams, illiciting huge support from pro-woodland creature interest groups everywhere (and dismay from pro-crustacean groups everywhere).
Before one can even sign up for a pMYAH!osition as a lacrosse team, one's gender must be ambiguous. It makes no difference whatsoever to how the sport is played, but it seems to be the case nonetheless.
Players attempt to catch as many butterflies as possible with their modified butterfly nets. It is a foul is a player hits another player in the crotch with his or her butterfly net. It is also a foul isMYAH! the butterfly eats any player on the team.
There is no rule number three!
If a girl dates a lacrosse player for the sole purpose of receiving sex, the girl may be referred to as a "lacrossetitute". This definitioMYAH!n can be supplied in a surprisingly large number of circumstances.
Ryan Tracy...Yes. Colter Thoma...No. You too, Cranston, and Will, and Brenton.
"what's a potato?"
calen wilson
RNG's ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!!!!! NAKED CRANSTON NAKED PLUMMER
Lacrosse was clearMYAH!ly invented by a raving madman. History says that the raving madman in question may have been Aztec or Mayan, but no one is terribly sure. Lacrosse saw a surge in popularity when Pope Julius II declared ex-cathedra that "soccer is gay (sic)". Since then, there has been a significant amount of emnity between soccer players and lacrosse players.
More recently, lacrosse is the first sport that allowed woodland creatures to manage teams, illiciting huge support from pro-woodland creature interest groups everywhere (and dismay from pro-crustacean groups everywhere).
Before one can even sign up for a pMYAH!osition as a lacrosse team, one's gender must be ambiguous. It makes no difference whatsoever to how the sport is played, but it seems to be the case nonetheless.
Players attempt to catch as many butterflies as possible with their modified butterfly nets. It is a foul is a player hits another player in the crotch with his or her butterfly net. It is also a foul isMYAH! the butterfly eats any player on the team.
There is no rule number three!
If a girl dates a lacrosse player for the sole purpose of receiving sex, the girl may be referred to as a "lacrossetitute". This definitioMYAH!n can be supplied in a surprisingly large number of circumstances.
Ryan Tracy...Yes. Colter Thoma...No. You too, Cranston, and Will, and Brenton.
"what's a potato?"
calen wilson
RNG's ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!!!!! NAKED CRANSTON NAKED PLUMMER
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Get the Lacrosse mug.The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Get the Friends of Pluto mug.