Clue by four

In most geek communities, being hit by a clue-by-four is generally a sign that the hitter (person doing the hitting) believes the hittee (person being hit) to be an inferior form of life and therefore in need of a good whalloping.

In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.

For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.

The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.

To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.

It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
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Line

What is a Line?

This is a line: _______

Lines: What Are They Good For?

That is a very good question.

* Thank you.
* You're welcome.

Well, a line is a thing that is straight, basically. You can draw one on a board or paint one on a highway (as long as they both go on without curving for infinity).

That's So Cool. What Else Are They Good For?

Do not ask, young stupid one. Look all around you. There are lines in the sky and lines in the sand.
Whose Line is it Anyway
_____________________ ______________________
______________________ _____________________
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
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Emo Bingo

Emo Bingo is the rather hardcore game of bingo, now played instead of Goth Bingo, due to the fact that the suicidal cliche has now been usurped from the Goth movement.

You and your friends (Ha! Yeah, right.) should gather around a computer and open up your internet browser of choice. Here, you should lay down the following ground rules:

1. Determine which blogging spaces are allowed (MySpace, Xanga, etc.).
2. Optionally choose a selection filter (Celebrities, <18, "tweens", blondes, emo hair, etc.).
3. Randomly generated your Emo Bingo card using the Emo Bingo Generation Program.
4. Determine how much alcohol is to be consumed (minimum or maximum) between rounds. Because you're going to need alcohol to withstand their emo radiation.

The card is divided into 5 collumns, each with a specific theme.

* B: B is for Bitching, which is what they do. About everyone. Seriously.
* I: I is for Illiterate, which is what they are. This column asks for their writings.
* N: N is for No Taste. This column is for their music choices.
* G: G is for Graphics. Unfortunately, they won't cut themselves and leave something graphic enough.
* O: O is for Original, which is what they think thier names are. Prove them wrong.

For more fun, play for patterns (the Square, the Tee, the Cross, the X), play cards back to back, simultaniously. Furthermore, if this is not enough to satisfy you, you can play "Fake the Emo" bingo, in which you start accounts in order to confuse emos into believing your lies. Whoever gets the first fatality wins! Yay!
by kodiac1 July 09, 2006
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Dollar Tree

The Dollar Tree is a rare tree found in

* Bill Gates' backyard
* The White House
* Kentucky
* Sims 2

It will grow you FREE money. On occasion, it will grow crappy merchendise such as plastic food. The seeds will be found in certain parts of Ireland. How do you think leprichauns get so many pots of gold? Yeah... Dollar Trees.

The Dollar Tree grows only in the warm climate of Kentucky or special patches which have been discovered by special people like Bill Gates. It is required to be watered five times a week and must be feed with a mixture of ground credit cards and crumbled checks. Mix it in with ground diamond powder. Wash, rince, repeat. After about a month, the tree will be fully grown. When harvested, the money you make will be $1,000,000. After a few years, you will be as rich as Bill Gates and possibly even have 99.9999999999999% of all the money in the world! Bad seasons will replace all of the money with crappy toys and stuff. There is a legend of a company who likes to steal the stuff and sell it in retail stores all over the USA! But there has been no evidence of this. and did you know... that dollar trees are incredibly well known in us

Fun Facts

* This is where money gets the green color
* Special edition Dollar Trees will give you gold!
* Slightly less special trees will give you silver.
* the doller tree is related to cotton, and jeans.
And they say money doesn't grow on trees...”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Dollar Tree
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
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Robert the Bruce

Robert the Bruce was allowed to be King of Scotland after apologising to Mel Gibson for trying to kill him as a sort of witty joke. Encouraged by an encounter with a spider on the Isle of Arran, he burned his bannocks or "boxer shorts" in front of the English Army, and proceeded to slaughter them because of his ingenious rules of battle (whereby anyone who correctly guessed their enemy's nationality was allowed "free hits").

One day Robert the Bruce is coming back, and then certain people will be in big trouble. He will sort everything out. He will tell us what to do. He will buy us presents. He will let us bring in games instead of doing work, and he will give out mini Mars Bars for those who please him. He is not really dead, this is a vicious and unsubstantiated rumour propounded by the same scientists who claim that dinosaurs are extinct.

This is not a joke and is deadly serious. Also he will let us have a go on his horse.
Robert the Bruce... Also see giggles and John Robinson
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
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Sparks

Sparks is a Relationship Guidance company formed in Los Angeles who use words and music to describe common relationship situations. Led by brothers Ron and Russell Mael, Sparks has managed to release over seventy self-help albums, selling over 200 millions albums worldwide.

The Mael brothers private lives has always been drenched in secrecy. Some say that they're jointly married to eight wives, while Russell fervently claims that he is married to Jacqueline Kennedy.
Many songs that Sparks have wrote are used by them to help certain sexual problems...

* For The Girls With Everything (Women who are self-obsessed with plastic surgery)
* All You Ever Think About Is Sex (Relationship friction)
* Thanks But No Thanks (How to turn down advances from prostitutes)
* Don't Leave Me Alone With Her (How to decline advances from women)
* Falling In Love With Myself Again (How to combat Mastrubation)
by kodiac1 July 03, 2006
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Warren Buffet

Warren Buffet, generally acknowledged as the second richest man in the United States Of America, (after Ryan Seacrest), is the inventor of the all-you-can-eat restaurant concept. Back in the old days--before 1942--this was unheard of, but Buffet perservered through thick and thin and perfected the idea. Today, many restaurants actually use his name when referring to their unlimited offerings.

Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.

a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.

His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.

The Discovery of All You Can Eat

In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.

To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.

Richest Man in the World

Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.
Unlimited shrimp cocktail! Now there's a concept. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Warren Buffet
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
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