Kodiac1's definitions
x64 is a part of the lost Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe and Everything, to which the answer is 42.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
“May they burn in hell, AMD and Intel alike, for not discovering it in the first place.”
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the x64mug. The Microsoft DirectX Window System (nicknamed "direct hex" by programmers) is an implementation of the X Window System for, unsurprisingly, Windows. It offers superior video output performance on the ATI and NVidia processors and inferior video output performance on all other processors, including the ones from AMD and Intel. It should be noted that Microsoft doesn't participate in either holy war, instead preferring to remain completely neutral in the question of vendor preference. For another example of Microsoft's neutrality, see x64.
DirectX differs from the official X implementation, which is stolen from XFree86, in the following minor details:
* It isn't stolen. Theoretically, nobody can steal it as well, and practically, nobody cares. Occasionally, the Free Sockpuppet Foundation goes nuts and shouts, "You Wine heretics, you stole it all, you gave up to the evil empire, we're doooomed!!" but it's been quite a while since anyone actually listened to them.
* It has made Ctrl-Alt-Del a well-known key combo.
* It is object-oriented to the point of granularity, passing thru your hands if not micromanaged a small grain at a time in order to produce the smallest of inputs. Its object orientation is language-independent, but crappy in the one true language. Unless you manage to find a cool wrapper library, which will immediately slow down performance almost to the point when you forget about your games and enjoy a slideshow.
* It is easy to use. Seriously. You only need to download a 200 MB SDK and forever forget about these*** stupid->IID_IPointers. It's slightly easier to use than OpenGL without downloading the SDK, which is a significant argument in favor of DirectX as downloading an SDK is no longer a problem in the digital millennium. Until you try to port your application.
* It doesn't include a window management system, there is already one in Windows and we are trying to be as minimalistic as possible. You cannot find an X system distribution as small as 20 MB which includes everything you ever need, including Direct1D, Direct2D DirectDraw, Direct3D, Direct4D, DirectSound, DirectShow, DirectHide, DirectInput, DirectPrint, DirectCD, DirectUSB and all the other subsystems for "direct"-ly (through a small, small hardware abstraction layer called Windows device driver and Win32 API) accessing all imaginable hardware. Until the vendor once again misconfigures the driver. But hey, it's not Microsoft's fault.
* Windows Vista finally bundles a DirectX window manager called Aero, which is a significant improvement over the best X window managers on Earth, such as TWM. From this point, DirectX/Aero will support OpenGL natively, eliminating the extra layer called ICD, for a small performance overhead of 50%. (Some say that ICDs can still be used, but Microsoft predicts that nobody will want to have these beautiful, eye-candy window borders to be even temporarily disabled to run some lame attempt on producing a 3D graphics library.
* It does run on your new video card, which is a vast improvement over the official X. The only drawback is that by the time you cover the security holes in the only system it supports one true system, it will be obsolete by at least a dozen new video cards, and all the coolest DirectX business applications will refuse to run on your card, but will run just fine on the card immediately succeeding yours. Until you install that one.
* Unlike X and its evil NPOV'ized some-say-that-it-is-evil spawn OpenGL, whose goal is not to add any functionality unless the hardware vendors and end users are rioting around your company's headquarters, the goal of DirectX is to add as much objects, function calls, layers of abstraction and obfuscated code as possible, regardless of whether any currently existing hardware is actually capable of understanding what DirectX wants from it, let alone doing what's asked. This clearly shows that Microsoft is thinking of the future and introducing innovation, quantity obscuring quality.
DirectX differs from the official X implementation, which is stolen from XFree86, in the following minor details:
* It isn't stolen. Theoretically, nobody can steal it as well, and practically, nobody cares. Occasionally, the Free Sockpuppet Foundation goes nuts and shouts, "You Wine heretics, you stole it all, you gave up to the evil empire, we're doooomed!!" but it's been quite a while since anyone actually listened to them.
* It has made Ctrl-Alt-Del a well-known key combo.
* It is object-oriented to the point of granularity, passing thru your hands if not micromanaged a small grain at a time in order to produce the smallest of inputs. Its object orientation is language-independent, but crappy in the one true language. Unless you manage to find a cool wrapper library, which will immediately slow down performance almost to the point when you forget about your games and enjoy a slideshow.
* It is easy to use. Seriously. You only need to download a 200 MB SDK and forever forget about these*** stupid->IID_IPointers. It's slightly easier to use than OpenGL without downloading the SDK, which is a significant argument in favor of DirectX as downloading an SDK is no longer a problem in the digital millennium. Until you try to port your application.
* It doesn't include a window management system, there is already one in Windows and we are trying to be as minimalistic as possible. You cannot find an X system distribution as small as 20 MB which includes everything you ever need, including Direct1D, Direct2D DirectDraw, Direct3D, Direct4D, DirectSound, DirectShow, DirectHide, DirectInput, DirectPrint, DirectCD, DirectUSB and all the other subsystems for "direct"-ly (through a small, small hardware abstraction layer called Windows device driver and Win32 API) accessing all imaginable hardware. Until the vendor once again misconfigures the driver. But hey, it's not Microsoft's fault.
* Windows Vista finally bundles a DirectX window manager called Aero, which is a significant improvement over the best X window managers on Earth, such as TWM. From this point, DirectX/Aero will support OpenGL natively, eliminating the extra layer called ICD, for a small performance overhead of 50%. (Some say that ICDs can still be used, but Microsoft predicts that nobody will want to have these beautiful, eye-candy window borders to be even temporarily disabled to run some lame attempt on producing a 3D graphics library.
* It does run on your new video card, which is a vast improvement over the official X. The only drawback is that by the time you cover the security holes in the only system it supports one true system, it will be obsolete by at least a dozen new video cards, and all the coolest DirectX business applications will refuse to run on your card, but will run just fine on the card immediately succeeding yours. Until you install that one.
* Unlike X and its evil NPOV'ized some-say-that-it-is-evil spawn OpenGL, whose goal is not to add any functionality unless the hardware vendors and end users are rioting around your company's headquarters, the goal of DirectX is to add as much objects, function calls, layers of abstraction and obfuscated code as possible, regardless of whether any currently existing hardware is actually capable of understanding what DirectX wants from it, let alone doing what's asked. This clearly shows that Microsoft is thinking of the future and introducing innovation, quantity obscuring quality.
Oscar Wilde's favorite color (blue) shows up regularly as it crashes, along with a broken curse written in hex known as a "hex dump". DirectX
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the directXmug. What Is?
Broken English is form of Binary which can take many long hours to know good but Broken English can teach quicker. Broken English is used for many people in New York City to jpspeak in Canal Street, where this born. Broken English purpose to collect all people on Canal Street, Black People, White People, Asian People to speak one language so no confusion, no?. Many immigrantes from my country do same ting and speak same this way. It give many benefit to us, especially to Russia and Hitler. Broken English is new very fast ... instrument ... to communicate with people that are not you and want to do something when you give money.
Broken English living here.
Broken English born in Canal Street from Michael Lecolant. He was mother. Husband was Your Mom and Your Face. This was maked when two people wasn't allowed to speak Traditional Chinese or Bangladeshian because they did not do learning for it. No homework for both of those people. Michael Lecolant used all english he knew from watching Hey Arnold and Spanish Soccer. After taking much valuabled time from both staring to each othering face, they decide to make new way of speak for each other. Much days were lost, and then Broken English was doing the speaking.
Broken English is form of Binary which can take many long hours to know good but Broken English can teach quicker. Broken English is used for many people in New York City to jpspeak in Canal Street, where this born. Broken English purpose to collect all people on Canal Street, Black People, White People, Asian People to speak one language so no confusion, no?. Many immigrantes from my country do same ting and speak same this way. It give many benefit to us, especially to Russia and Hitler. Broken English is new very fast ... instrument ... to communicate with people that are not you and want to do something when you give money.
Broken English living here.
Broken English born in Canal Street from Michael Lecolant. He was mother. Husband was Your Mom and Your Face. This was maked when two people wasn't allowed to speak Traditional Chinese or Bangladeshian because they did not do learning for it. No homework for both of those people. Michael Lecolant used all english he knew from watching Hey Arnold and Spanish Soccer. After taking much valuabled time from both staring to each othering face, they decide to make new way of speak for each other. Much days were lost, and then Broken English was doing the speaking.
WIN HARD FAST GOOD
Broken English screaming word
Not Expedition but Long Journey hard task
"Look good fast pretty, baby"
~ Jack Johnson on Sex with Broken English
Broken English screaming word
Not Expedition but Long Journey hard task
"Look good fast pretty, baby"
~ Jack Johnson on Sex with Broken English
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Broken Englishmug. 7-11 is the historical name ascribed to the most prevalent naturally occuring inconvenience store. Known since antiquity, 7-11 has become the world's foremost purveyor of toxically unhealthy processed food products. Also notable are the frictionless tile floors and the uniformly East Indian service staff.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the 7-11mug. by Kodiac1 September 27, 2007
Get the negsmug. The gene that, when active within the human genome, causes an individual to exhibit the characteristic of blueness. This gene is known for its unique, maroon colour. Although some would figure this gene to be the colour blue, they are incorrectly thinking of jeans, which when placed in the human genome cause the individual to behave maroon.
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
Blue Gene is also the name of the computer that secretly rules over Canuckstan with an iron fist. Which is odd, because the computer fails to have an iron fist, but instead uses a more modern platnium fist. It will likely destroy us all.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Blue Genemug. In the year 1903, King Butthole the 3rd was born into kingship after his mother died in labor and his dad got wasted and set himself on fire. From the year 1903 to 1907, Austria was ruled by a baby. While under the baby's rule the country went to war with Godzilla and the United Arab Emirates.
In the year 1907 the King went to preschool. After the first day he declared war on finger paints and naptime. Finger paints suffered after the king used his nuclear capabilities on the crayola fingerpaint warehouse in Mongolia. But the king let naptime escape with it's life.
In the year 1957 the king bought the company who made Better Homes and Gardens magazine and made it into his military headquarters. With his base set up the King decided to build the great fort wallacocky made entirely of popsicle sticks.
The fort soon was destoyed in World war 2.5 and the King died in battle.
After dying the Austrian stock market collapsed and nobody goes there anymore. THE END!
In the year 1907 the King went to preschool. After the first day he declared war on finger paints and naptime. Finger paints suffered after the king used his nuclear capabilities on the crayola fingerpaint warehouse in Mongolia. But the king let naptime escape with it's life.
In the year 1957 the king bought the company who made Better Homes and Gardens magazine and made it into his military headquarters. With his base set up the King decided to build the great fort wallacocky made entirely of popsicle sticks.
The fort soon was destoyed in World war 2.5 and the King died in battle.
After dying the Austrian stock market collapsed and nobody goes there anymore. THE END!
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the King Butthole the 3rdmug.