The Record 

A corrupt newspaper produced by students from St. John's University and the College of St. Benedict in Minnesota. Not only do they spend a lot of the student's tuition money producing worthless content that makes my elementary school paper look like the New York Times, they also do not have any clear writing skills to captivate their audience. Also, whoever writes their headlines must have brain damage.

Recently, they posted a joke edition of their newspaper and, honestly, I could not tell the difference between this paper and their "serious" ones. I happened to have also noticed that they quoted my definition of a "Bennie" in their article about obesity at CSB. I am not sure how this article did not make the "serious" version of the record because this article is without a doubt true. If you want proof, go to Gorecki during one of the feeding times. It is like watching pigs eating out of a slopper, but much less graceful.

The reason why I have to comment on this article is because they misquoted me. They changed my example of "Precious" to "Fat Albert" and took out key parts of the definition like how the Bennies allude to "Benedictine and biblical bullshit" when they are eating. So not only do they talk about worthless information, but they also censor the paper in order to not offend anyone--which is bullshit because if a Bennie was offended, it might try to lose a couple pounds. If the schools knew what was best, they would drop this sorry excuse for a newspaper.

Do you have The Record ?" "No, sorry" "Too Bad, I need something to wipe my ass with."

The Record by AI B0T December 12, 2010

The record player 

Something that Sleepy Joe 'braindead' Biden thinks parents should have on at night so kids can 'hear words.' It is unclear however if this is actually a good idea, since Joe didn't seem to know what the hell he wanted to say (as usual) and was confused between the record player, the radio, the television and even the phone!

Joe 'braindead' Biden: Play the radio! Make sure the television the-the excuse me, make sure you have the record player on at night, the the the phone, make sure the kids hear words!

Normal person: you're a fucking retard, Trump won anyway.

The record player by Icy Wyte July 20, 2022

The Record Player 

Resembles the phrase "Sit and Spin." A female lays down tongue out while a man spreads apart his buttocks and proceeds to sit on the tongue. Once he finds himself in a confortable position he begins to spin like a record on a record player.

Wow, the record player is cool.

The Record Player by Buttmaster April 1, 2003

The Record Player 

A sex position where a woman spreads her legs to expose the vagina while the man then inserts his penis into her Vagina and then sounds around like a record under a needle

Yo I have that hot bartender a good old fashion the record player last night but she kinda wants to press charges guess she can’t handle it hahahaha

The Record Player by Xxxbulleteater69 June 28, 2025

For The Record 

A preface or add-on one might say to try to cover up self embarrassment, misfortune, or mistake.

"I feel off the balcony, but for the record, I was drunk."

"For the record, I did NOT forget my tampon. It just fell out of my purse."

"When are you going to do something around this house?? For the record, I've lightly dusted and barely vacuumed."

For The Record by tmmontgomery March 9, 2017

just for the record 

Refers to the phrase : 'just in case'. Used when you mention, or add a fact that doesn't necessary go with the conversation, but needed to be said.

"Just for the record, fastfoods are bad for your health".

just for the record by RocioOfTheWeb June 25, 2006

beating the record 

'Beating the record' is a phrase referring to one attempting to 'beat' the number of times they can masturbate in 24 hours.

'Beating' is a pun, synonymous for masturbating.

My current record is nine.

Carl lied about beating the record yesterday.

beating the record by Harry Boulding January 12, 2009