The News 

Getting more and more depressing by the day. It's all a story of murders, rape, scandals, starvation, oppression, genocide, obscenity, atrosity.

Would do us all a lot more good if there was some good news on once in a while. Or even better if we all decided to do something about the news, dream a bit bigger and actually go out of our way to help those in need. Perhaps do our best to aid our local community in some way...

If we all mucked in and were willing to help a bit then we could make this world maybe a half decent place to live?

The News:
Tonight, a badger baiting scandal developed, more soon on the dire news.

We could make it:

Tonight, a group of people decided to make a difference in the world. Many in their local community, but others further afield. The world is certainly benefitting and I encourage everyone to help! Now the weather.

Let's go guys!

The News by StickYourNeckOut February 23, 2009

The News 

(n.) A show on T.V. that only includes politics, especially Donald Trump, depressing incidents, and just all around bad stuff. Only one in a while will something good show up.

Dan: *sigh*
Sam: What?
Dan: The News.
Sam: Yeah.

The News by DaPwettyPwincess October 7, 2018

The News 

In fictional television, The News is a Paraguayan English-speaking newscast broadcasted by Standard Channel, BTV and ON TV, that began in September 23, 2023 when Standard Channel launched, and it didn't became a tri-channel newscast until August 5, 2024

Since when The Kildovian Federation and Hemidaia-Kon became as friends and the shipping allegations began, The News had become a propaganda tool of the Kildovian community and bytepax, making it critical and manipulative. Nicknames for The News often include "The Lies" and "The Nonsenses"

Guy 1: Did you heard that The News criticized PortuSwissball's expose about Barara?
Guy 2: Yeah, as of now The News is bullshit and not pretty trusted

The News by bytepax421 October 9, 2024

the news of the world

Weekly rag which is famous for trying to ruin the lives of decent people, in a bid to boost their sales. Best known for printing lies and being succesfully sued for hundreds of thousands of pounds by the persons whose reputations they attempt to besmirch. MP Tommy Sheridan and footballer Ashley Cole for example.

Despite being a British tabloid they held the safety of British Troops in utter contempt by printing pictures of British soldiers beating up a few rioting iraqi youths who were throwing bricks at them. The pictures fuelled the iraqis anger which led to more attacks on UK soldiers.

The news of the world editor: Whose lifes can we fuck up this week then?

The news of the world journalist: Lets flip a coin, if it's heads we'll target a footballer, if it's tails we'll target an MP.

The news of the world editor: Good idea.

the news of the world by Dundeeboy August 5, 2006

The News of The World

A British tabloid newspaper published on Sundays by News Corp. It's a sister paper to The Sun.

The News of The World concentrates on the important news. C-list celebrities, football, horoscopes, sex scandals and soft-porn. The News of The World has published a lot of kiss and tell stories. Normally these stories are told in lurid detail and illustrated with photos of the woman concerned in her underwear. The News of The World has a gift for showing women in their underwear. They could print an article about Nixon opening relations with China and still somehow find a way to work such a photo in to the story.

The newspaper itself is very right-wing and has been criticised in the past for enouraging mob justice (as has it's sister paper The Sun). Their decision to print the names and photos of convicted paedophiles brought condemnation since it was pretty obvious what was going to happen once these lists were published. Lynch mobs formed and people who had served their sentences and been released were harassed despite the fact that stastics have shown that sex-offenders typically have a far lower rate of recivisdism than most other serious crimes.

All in all, a low-grade gossip rag with a thinly veiled populist right-wing agenda.

John: I want something that's written in the style of a children's book while being a mix of Mein Kampf and Razzle.
Paul: Ah, the News of The World. That'll be 50 pence.
Stavros: How much change do I get from a pound?

The News of The World by thepreacher May 2, 2006

The news and the weather 

The act of speaking while at the same time expectorating on the individul. (spitting). Never done intentionally. Usually occuring when someone is upset or heated while trying to speak without swallowing their saliva.

Burger, slow your roll! Your giving me the news and the weather. Just calm down and tell me what Cang did.

The news and the weather by Dr. Cold Finger January 11, 2008