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Tear-jerker 

When the man ejaculates up the girl's nose, the semen accumulates so much that it oozes out of her tear ducts. If it doesn't ooze out right away, the man punches her in the face to induce crying.
Cory: "Oh yeah, here it comes, where do you want it?"
Topanga: "I feel like being kinky...why don't you give me a Tear-jerker?"
Cory: "Oh ya...that's SO hot."
*Cory ejaculates and makes high-pitched orgasm screeches*
*Topanga makes snorting sounds*
Cory: "Hey, it's not coming out of your eyes!"
*Cory punches Topanga in the face*
*Topanga cries cum*
Cory: "Yeah...that's better. By the way, bitch, I got AIDS."
*Topanga cries more cum*
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Tear Jerker 

To shed tears onto one's penis while masturbating, typically following rejection, failure, or general sorrow.
A: Well, the Lions lost again—better go home and cry on my dick.

B: Yeah, last week I had a nice tear jerker set to Jewel's "Foolish Games".
Tear Jerker by hologrammar June 6, 2011

Tear Jerker 

To masturbate furiously while crying about your inability to get laid or the fact that you are just a pussy in general.
Fred struck out with all the skanks at the bar, so he went home to give himself a tear jerker.
Tear Jerker by DWright March 30, 2007

Tear Jerker 

When you have sex with a girl with a glass eye and when you are about to blow your load you take her glass eye out ejaculate in her eye socket and put the eye back in so the glass eye forces out a tear of jizz
Man: I'm so good baby I'll make cry

Glass eyed woman: Okay but you have to clean my eye after the Tear Jerker. I hate cleaning jizz off my glass eye.
Tear Jerker by Shogun of Skanks October 29, 2010

Tear jerker 

Tear jerking is to masterbate while crying and using the tears as lube.
"Listen bitch, You are a cheating, lying, cum gargling swamp whore, so go home, cry your eyes out and use your tears to grease up your gristle knot while you masterbate yourself to sleep, It'll be a real tear jerker."
Tear jerker by Robby Martin December 6, 2006

Tear Jerker 

A man who, while under the influence of alcohol or other mind-altering substances, masturbates and uses his tears as lubricant. A tear jerker may also be defined as a date or encounter with a woman which results in the afore mentioned definition.

This idea is referenced, but not directly named, in the popular film, "Waiting...".
A dialogue from the movie, "Waiting...".
--------------------
Dean: Calvin, what happens with every girl you're interested in? Nothing! You take them out, you pay for everything - you never make a move!

Monty: And then you go home... alone... to masturbate... while you cry... using your own tears as lubricant.

Calvin: Ok that was once... and I was drunk... and it was Valentine's Day.
--------------------
Calvin is a total tear jerker.
Tear Jerker by Joey X September 16, 2008

tear jerker 

Friend A: "I saw this porno the other day where Jenna Jameson dies in the end"

Friend B: "It must have been a real tear jerker"
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A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026
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