shisturbate

To masturbate while taking a massive shit.

Last night, I became aroused while taking a shit, but since I was so pressed for time, I decided to shisturbate.

shisturbate by THE SHLEEPER August 7, 2009

Sadsturbate 

The term for masturbating while sad in order to take ones mind off of their personal troubles.

John Proctor's girlfriend broke up with him so he decided to sadsturbate in order to ease the sorrow.

Sadsturbate by Carl Grimes April 17, 2016

Shitsturbate 

To masturbate oneself while taking a shit. Simultaneous masturbation and defecation. The ultimate dual release.

After years of marriage, Carl's wife finally figured out her husband takes an excessively long time in the bathroom because he loves to Shitsturbate.

Shitsturbate by Eaton Holgoode April 28, 2016

Sadsturbate 

Masturbation while in an intense period of remorse or sadness, lubrication naturally forming from tears raining down on one's frowny poundy

Sam was so upset when the Patriots lost to the Ravens that he sadsturbated for months in his room before he ran out of tears and boners.

Sadsturbate by TeamKeefe January 23, 2013

Sadsturbate 

When you masturbate to take your mind off something that's making you sad.

"Aw man...I'm so sad about my girl breaking up with me...I can't sleep..."
"Time to sadsturbate!"

Sadsturbate by bassmanmiles92 June 29, 2011

shasturbate 

The act of masturbating while defecating.

I was in such a rush this morning that I was forced to shasturbate,.

shasturbate by vink pink February 10, 2005

Shitsturbation 

A simultaneous performance of shitting and masturbating, often done in public restrooms.

Kayla: Wow, I heard some really weird noises when I was using the restroom. Sounded like someone was really enjoying their dump...
Michael: They were probably undergoing Shitsturbation. It's like a self-performed blumpkin with your hands.

Shitsturbation by gofgirl983 December 17, 2011