shemorrhoid
Any person pathologically obsessed with their own ridiculous and worthless ideological judgments of language conventions which pertain (even only historically or figuratively) to sex or gender who makes a public nuisance of themselves by injecting their bullshit (as defined by H. Frankfurt) into even the most friendly and harmless conversation where they see a 'hot-button' word that sends them off into a tangential rant to "raise awareness" of their "deep" and "significant" revelations of our vocabulary and its supposedly important implications.
Symptoms include: an abnormally enlarged interest in vain masturbatory academics (such as "gender studies"); an inflamed sense of self-righteousness; irritating intellectually-vacuous outcries; a severely diminished capacity to defend opinions by reason; and disruption of normal social interactions prompted by the obsession.
Word origins: a counterstroke to the pseudo-intellectual nuisance feminists and their coinage "herstory" (a play on the word 'history', which they hysterically misjudged as androcentric): 'hemorrhoids' are a literal pain in the ass; a 'shemorrhoid' is one of the aforementioned obnoxious self-important people who is a figurative pain-in-the-ass (even in the eyes of the quasi-sensible feminists who resemble mature adults in their ability to offer arguments, coolly opening a discussion, instead of only interjecting to complain and make unreasonable demands).
Symptoms include: an abnormally enlarged interest in vain masturbatory academics (such as "gender studies"); an inflamed sense of self-righteousness; irritating intellectually-vacuous outcries; a severely diminished capacity to defend opinions by reason; and disruption of normal social interactions prompted by the obsession.
Word origins: a counterstroke to the pseudo-intellectual nuisance feminists and their coinage "herstory" (a play on the word 'history', which they hysterically misjudged as androcentric): 'hemorrhoids' are a literal pain in the ass; a 'shemorrhoid' is one of the aforementioned obnoxious self-important people who is a figurative pain-in-the-ass (even in the eyes of the quasi-sensible feminists who resemble mature adults in their ability to offer arguments, coolly opening a discussion, instead of only interjecting to complain and make unreasonable demands).
person Z: having a good day?
person Y: meh. this weather is a bitch, and my boss was being a real cunt, today. You?
person X: OMG did you just say 'cunt'?
person Y: why?
person X: that's a vile word. I find it offensive. it's derisive of women and blah blah blah...
person Y: what're you on about? If I had, instead, said he was being a dickhead, I don't think anyone would complain that all penised people (of whatever gender identity) are being insulted.
person Z: lol, best to just ignore the shemorrhoid, person Y, they're only going to whine and protest for you to change your behavior, and they'll only become more rancorous if you don't bow to their self-imagined authority.
person Y: meh. this weather is a bitch, and my boss was being a real cunt, today. You?
person X: OMG did you just say 'cunt'?
person Y: why?
person X: that's a vile word. I find it offensive. it's derisive of women and blah blah blah...
person Y: what're you on about? If I had, instead, said he was being a dickhead, I don't think anyone would complain that all penised people (of whatever gender identity) are being insulted.
person Z: lol, best to just ignore the shemorrhoid, person Y, they're only going to whine and protest for you to change your behavior, and they'll only become more rancorous if you don't bow to their self-imagined authority.
shemorrhoid by Lykho October 31, 2011
Urban Dictionary Merch