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schmasturbate

The fourth "S". What you do after you shower, shit, and shave.
Bill: "Hey man what took you so long to get here? Kickoff was 10 minutes ago!"

Ray: "Sorry man I barely had time to do the 4 S's and stop at the liquor store before the game started."

Bill: "4 S's? I thought there were only 3."

Ray: "nope, 4. Shower, shit, shave, and schmasturbate."
by jeffrotull87 April 11, 2012
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schmasturbator

1.) One who is extremely fond of their own appearance, skills and life knowledge.

2.) A male with a micro penis.
That schmasturbator just taught me how to have sexual intercourse with small rodents.
by Jerry The Wonder Moose April 1, 2009
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