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schmasturbate 

The fourth "S". What you do after you shower, shit, and shave.
Bill: "Hey man what took you so long to get here? Kickoff was 10 minutes ago!"

Ray: "Sorry man I barely had time to do the 4 S's and stop at the liquor store before the game started."

Bill: "4 S's? I thought there were only 3."

Ray: "nope, 4. Shower, shit, shave, and schmasturbate."
schmasturbate by jeffrotull87 April 11, 2012
Words you can keep

shasturbate 

I was in such a rush this morning that I was forced to shasturbate,.
shasturbate by vink pink February 10, 2005

schmasturbator 

1.) One who is extremely fond of their own appearance, skills and life knowledge.

2.) A male with a micro penis.

That schmasturbator just taught me how to have sexual intercourse with small rodents.

Schmasterbation 

The act of helping an elderly person across the street.
"Today, I schmasterbated my neighbor."

"A boy scout recieved his "Civil Service" Merit Badge after schmasterbating 40 times in one day."

"Everyone should set time aside for schmasterbation at least once an hour."
Schmasterbation by CE Time Wasters November 3, 2011

shmasturbating 

Johnny just came back from shmasturbating n the bathroom.
shmasturbating by Matthew Kessler October 22, 2013

schmasternate 

when you you are completely smashed and trying to masturbate and you are unable to
dude i was trying to schmasternate last night, but it was like a book of wheres waldo trying to find that thing.
schmasternate by mikbails February 21, 2011

shasturbate 

The act of shitting and masturbating simultaneously
Adam went to the bathroom to shasturbate. Won't see him for awhile
shasturbate by Gumbooo April 29, 2014
More from Urban Dictionary

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026
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