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To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.
Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.
by Nemo Nemo July 06, 2007
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Jul 12 Word of the Day
The horrible moment when you realise that you have accidentally done something very slightly wrong which has very bad (usually embarassing) implications for you. This is typically the moment of realisation that you just sent a dirty text message to a close member of family, typically your mother, rather than the intended recipient.
Message: "i'm free this afternoon so come over and fuck me senseless, my parents will be out all day"
Recipient: Mum
Message Sent
- Onosecond occurs here -
by Jimmed September 26, 2006
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When you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to Facebook, Twitter, or Intagram.
You: Hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
Friend: Yeah, I'm unfollowing you on Instagram.
by jigganut January 02, 2015
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On Facebook, persistently attempt to steer threads in a sexual direction; continually make lewd and suggestive comments, regardless of their relevance to the original post or current tone of the thread.
Nancy: Grandma Geriatrician's birthday on Saturday. What do you get for a 90 year old???
Moira: What else could you want or need at that age?
Rhonda: Just wrap up something she already has. She's 90!!!! She won't remember if she had one or not.
Moira: Then re-wrap it and let your brother give it to her, too ... lol!
Keith: I'd like to give you a "pearl necklace" for your birthday.
Nancy: Dude, that doesn't even make sense! Go posturbate somewhere else.
by Baroness Buttercup December 10, 2010
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