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posturbate

To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.
Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.
by Nemo Nemo August 3, 2007
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posturbate

When you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to Facebook, Twitter, or Intagram.
You: Hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
Friend: Yeah, I'm unfollowing you on Instagram.
by jigganut January 2, 2015
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Posturbate

On Facebook, persistently attempt to steer threads in a sexual direction; continually make lewd and suggestive comments, regardless of their relevance to the original post or current tone of the thread.
Nancy: Grandma Geriatrician's birthday on Saturday. What do you get for a 90 year old???
Moira: What else could you want or need at that age?
Rhonda: Just wrap up something she already has. She's 90!!!! She won't remember if she had one or not.
Moira: Then re-wrap it and let your brother give it to her, too ... lol!
Keith: I'd like to give you a "pearl necklace" for your birthday.
Nancy: Dude, that doesn't even make sense! Go posturbate somewhere else.
by Baroness Buttercup December 12, 2010
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Smolka's Postulate

There is a fundamental connection between technology, physical reality and nature. And the parallels between technology and nature are astounding.
Smolka's Postulate reveals that cars have systems that match that of animals; ie: gas tank - stomach, catalytic converter - liver, carburetor - lungs and so on. A computer hard drive needs to defrag every so often, like a mind needs to dream(believing that doing so consolidates information in the brain).
by Stephan Smolka September 5, 2009
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Pasturbation

Obsessively romanticizing the past.
Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.
by fraying August 31, 2010
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postabate

to like your own post on social networking sites such as Facebook. Sometimes people feel bad when their posts are not liked by any of their friends on facebook. hence they start liking their own posts. and his is how postabation works ... just like masturbation works for boys.
Hey no one likes my post on FB... i should postabate ....
by Rashi Sharma July 15, 2011
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Zoeb's Postulate

A postulate that can be used to conclude anything without any counter-arguments to object it.

It defies Newton's Laws, objects Chuck Norris, and is Bruce Lee's secret weapon.
"If I have 5 apples and eat 2 apples, how much apples do I have?"
"You have 9 apples"
"No...how do you get 9 apples?"
"Zoeb's Postulate"
by Demolition5 February 3, 2012
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