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To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.
Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.
by Nemo Nemo July 06, 2007
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When you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to Facebook, Twitter, or Intagram.
You: Hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
Friend: Yeah, I'm unfollowing you on Instagram.
by jigganut January 02, 2015
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On Facebook, persistently attempt to steer threads in a sexual direction; continually make lewd and suggestive comments, regardless of their relevance to the original post or current tone of the thread.
Nancy: Grandma Geriatrician's birthday on Saturday. What do you get for a 90 year old???
Moira: What else could you want or need at that age?
Rhonda: Just wrap up something she already has. She's 90!!!! She won't remember if she had one or not.
Moira: Then re-wrap it and let your brother give it to her, too ... lol!
Keith: I'd like to give you a "pearl necklace" for your birthday.
Nancy: Dude, that doesn't even make sense! Go posturbate somewhere else.
by Baroness Buttercup December 10, 2010
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