posturbate 

To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.

Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.

posturbate by Nemo Nemo August 3, 2007

posturbate 

When you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to Facebook, Twitter, or Intagram.

You: Hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
Friend: Yeah, I'm unfollowing you on Instagram.

posturbate by jigganut January 2, 2015

Posturbate 

On Facebook, persistently attempt to steer threads in a sexual direction; continually make lewd and suggestive comments, regardless of their relevance to the original post or current tone of the thread.

Nancy: Grandma Geriatrician's birthday on Saturday. What do you get for a 90 year old???
Moira: What else could you want or need at that age?
Rhonda: Just wrap up something she already has. She's 90!!!! She won't remember if she had one or not.
Moira: Then re-wrap it and let your brother give it to her, too ... lol!
Keith: I'd like to give you a "pearl necklace" for your birthday.
Nancy: Dude, that doesn't even make sense! Go posturbate somewhere else.

Posturbate by Baroness Buttercup December 12, 2010

Smolka's Postulate 

There is a fundamental connection between technology, physical reality and nature. And the parallels between technology and nature are astounding.

Smolka's Postulate reveals that cars have systems that match that of animals; ie: gas tank - stomach, catalytic converter - liver, carburetor - lungs and so on. A computer hard drive needs to defrag every so often, like a mind needs to dream(believing that doing so consolidates information in the brain).

Smolka's Postulate by Stephan Smolka September 5, 2009

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

postabate 

to like your own post on social networking sites such as Facebook. Sometimes people feel bad when their posts are not liked by any of their friends on facebook. hence they start liking their own posts. and his is how postabation works ... just like masturbation works for boys.

Hey no one likes my post on FB... i should postabate ....

postabate by Rashi Sharma July 15, 2011

Zoeb's Postulate

A postulate that can be used to conclude anything without any counter-arguments to object it.

It defies Newton's Laws, objects Chuck Norris, and is Bruce Lee's secret weapon.

"If I have 5 apples and eat 2 apples, how much apples do I have?"
"You have 9 apples"
"No...how do you get 9 apples?"
"Zoeb's Postulate"

Zoeb's Postulate by Demolition5 February 3, 2012