Porn Crackers 

Tissues used for post-masterbation clean-up and left to go hard. Also known as wankier mâché, wankerchiefs, bedroom popadoms, or wankers crisps.

Originally from Viz magazine's Profanasaurus.

There's enough porn crackers here to make snow angels on the bedroom floor!

Porn Crackers by NYCockExchange November 23, 2011

porn crackers 

A faint whiff of obscenity

Porn crackers! We'll have to edit that out of the magic show.

porn crackers by philologue August 22, 2011

Porn Crackers 

The state of a post-wank tissue that has been left to grow hard, crunchy, and prawn cracker-esque

Looking in his room for the shoes that Carl had borrowed from me, I found the assortment of porn crackers that he’d been leaving under his bed

Porn Crackers by Chris fischer April 21, 2022

Cracker Porn 

"Reality TV" for rednecks, such as "Duck Dynasty" or "Honey Boo Boo".

You don't have to be a redneck to enjoy cracker porn, but it helps! I don't watch that s*$t personally, but I am looking forward to the inevitable real-porn parody "Dick Dynasty". Or maybe just "F&#k Dynasty". I'm not sure which way they'll go. Maybe they'll do both!

Cracker Porn by Poppa Capp December 31, 2013

Cracker Jack Porn 

Describes a sub-genre of movies and/or television series wherein the following takes place: the protagonist (main character) conveys bored arrogance as they repeatedly snark their way to solving the unsolvable problem (think House or Harvey Spector), OR their skill level and talent are so advanced, so exceptional, that they have no equal (think Mission Impossible or John Wick).

"I spent the weekend binge-watching Scorpion, followed by The Equalizer!"
"You must really be into that Cracker Jack Porn, huh?"

Cracker Jack Porn by Trixie Domore May 18, 2024