philawsophy 

A study of rules and mandates.

I've always behaved myself "just 'cuz" --- i.e., merely due to the fact that my conscience says that I should --- and so I don't see why I should hafta study philawsophy in middle school! It seems wholly unnecessary when I was already planning to "be good" in any case, plus it makes me feel like it's insultingly implying that I am a simple-minded impressionable who needs to be TAUGHT how to be honest and honorable, rather than my already knowing right from wrong to being with.

philawsophy by QuacksO June 5, 2021

Moke Philosophy 

A seemingly counter-intuitive school of thought emphasizing the importance of the present. Moke philosophy was founded by the legendary Elder Archimandrite Mokentius himself soon after attaining enlightenment under the shade of a protractor. This profound philosophy encourages clarity of mind, skillful focus on any given task, and a general sense of ease in life affirmed by the central tenets of "Don't Care" and "Tough Shit", often abbreviated as "DC" and "TS" to avoid offending the more delicate among his tutelage.

Mr. Moke often motivates his students with the allure of material wealth and affluence in order to get them to strive for their utmost best every waking moment.

Mr. Moke: "Sarah whats the difference between triangle A and triangle B?"
Sarah: "Nothing"
Mr. Moke: "Looks like someone has been subscribing to Moke Philosophy!"
Student 4: "Whaaa?"
(Mr. Moke shakes his head and precedes to write TS on the whiteboard)

Moke Philosophy by SuperUber255 January 16, 2019

Shrek Philosophy 

Shrek Philosophy

Philosophy on Shrek. Take any quote and then change it around with Shrek or create your own. It must have a deep meaning or some insight into life.

And when the angel Shrek gave unto The Farqaads the tools to build the new swamp, they did so without hesitation. For Eighty-Five years, they prepared the way of the lord. But when the great Fiona came he brought War with him and the fields of the swamp were soaked with the blood of brothers. The only Emancipation he had to offer, was death by onion.

What exactly was the great Shrek, emancipating the donkey from? From his daily puss, from the nobility of honest days work, from wealthy ogres who sponsored them from cradle to grave. Front clothing and shelter and what have they done?, Why go to the Swamp and you shall find out. No ogre is born free, except the white Shrek, and it is our burden to care for the rest of creation.

Shrek Philosophy examples:

Why do you ask Shrek when the delicious question is Shrek? The only difference between Shrek and Donkey...is Puss in boots. Shrek, Shreked, will Shrek. Donkey, donkeyed, will Donkey. If we could perceive Shrek as it really was... what reason would grammar Shreks have to get out of bed? Like us all, Lady Shrek exists across time. Shrek is both alive and dead. Shrek perceives being both. Shrek finds this condition... disagreeable.

Man 1:Man have you heard about the Shrek Philosophy class at Harvard?
Man 2: Yeah dude, it's the best class ever! I would take it again if I could.

Shrek Philosophy by WarGreymon August 8, 2014

Dan Brown philosophy 

When you're at a party or elsewhere, some people will try to talk all deep except that most of their knowledge is derived from Dan Brown novels. Easily spotted by frequent illusions to the Illuminati and the Holy Grail. The really clever ones will mix in bullshit they read on the Internet.

PERSON 1: I think Camus' "The Stranger" is one of the best illustrations of one's struggle with the absurd.

PERSON 2: Uh, yeah, and the Catholic church is trying to cover up Jesus' bloodline!

PERSON 1: Nice Dan Brown philosophy you've got there.

Dan Brown philosophy by Lairor July 28, 2008

Philosophy shower 

When one spends an abnormally long time in the shower because they are putting thought into some of the deeper issues in their life.

Friend: Dude you were in the shower for 45 minutes! What the hell were you doing, jacking off?

Guy: Nah dude I was taking a philosophy shower.

Friend: Oh ok that's excused then.

Philosophy shower by FuctButSects October 22, 2010

Penis philosophy 

Life, life is like a penis.
Sometimes it's short,
Sometimes it's average,
Sometimes it's long.
It can be very free-flowing.
It can go up, down, left, and right.
And then, women come and make it hard.

Friend: what is life?
Me: life, life is like a penis.
Penis; Penis philosophy

Penis philosophy by The AAC December 30, 2015

Bobuk defensive football philosophy

Tell him the basis of my defensive philosophy is if he can’t tackle the fucking dive then we’re playing strictly offense and we’re just gonna outscore the opponent

Did you hear the bobuk defensive football philosophy it’s pretty good... yeah man I don’t get why more nfl teams don’t use it

Bobuk defensive football philosophy by Easy Muther fuckin E May 19, 2020