Paddles

A place in the dark depths of Pembroke, Pembrokeshire where you can catch crabs and gonorrhea from just breathing. A nightclub in which you have to be 18 to enter, however paddling 14 year olds are subsequently let in for 'looking' 18 because the bouncers are ill-educated twats who need their glasses fixed. Once inside a rare sight will be seen, the inhabitants of Pembroke and Pembroke Dock (sometimes even Haverfordwest) all 'getting low' to Flo Rida in one big clan. It is the one place where married 40 year olds can go and pull a naive 14 year old and be no consequences.

girl1: I'm 14, and i go to paddles!
girl2: Me to, cause i'm from Monkton!
girl3: Same, i got there to get totally taken advantage of by some 40 year old man while i'm drunk after my 2 WKD's!

guy1: you paddling it this weekend?
guy2: no, i actually like the way my healthy dick looks!

by flooooo May 25, 2009

Paddles

A greek mythological figure, the most beautiful man ever to grace this Earth, legend has it he is 19 inches

Zeus: Trust me, I'm like 12 inches
Aphrodite: Pfff, you oughta see Paddles, He's a real man

Modern day: 'That guy's a Paddles!'

by Paddles01 September 16, 2008

Paddles up

Term used When life or an event is going good or your goals are met or exceeded

Cole said “Paddles up” because he took huge amounts of pre workout and hit a PR in the gym

by JACK CARRUTH May 1, 2022

Use the Paddles

A phrase often used on people in trouble or requesting help. Unlike conventional phrases, it means that you can't help them, and they're on their own. Coined by a bystander watching a man trying to fight pirates off his paddle boat, but was overpowered.

Usually used in cases when the troubled person has no hope of winning otherwise, or is very likely to fail without outside support.

Soldier: "Sir! The enemy broke through our defenses! We can't hold them off!"
Commander: "USE THE PADDLES!"

Student 1: "Hey, I forgot to study for the test today. Any advice you could give me?"
Student 2: "Well, I guess you have to use the paddles."
Student 1: "Aw, shit."

by AdmiralofShe October 16, 2016

snooch paddles

It's your index fingers on both hands used simultaneously to spread apart a woman's labia to eat her out.

My snooch paddles are cramping up from eat your moms pussy last night.

by Psycho jake creations November 18, 2014

fat paddles

an observed condition when fat people turn hands sideways when walking in a vain attempt to gain more momentum using hands like paddles

look at that lard arse using his fat paddles

by madferret September 19, 2010

cactus paddles

The prickly lips of a pussy, which is in need of a shave.

Dang Amy's got some ripe cactus paddles.

by Justro January 6, 2011