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today on things 

Expression. Short-hand for "Today on things that happened".

Used when someone is lying, or exaggerating a story. Often used on the internet and seldom in real life.
"Here's a picture of the house I paid off in two years using essential oils!! #BossBabe"

"Today on things"

Who am I (to comment on things)?

Welp... At my core I'm a locus of subjectivity with thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires. In the context of the social hierarchy Jordan loves to go on about I'm a fat lazy bitchtit-having baby-dick incel who threatens kids and blasphemes against God. Now... YOUR problem is that you want that guy ☝️ to HAVE TO improve. You want ☝️ that guy to HAVE TO work hard. Because YOU THINK... You're better than that guy... You're not better than that guy. That guy created A.I. It passes the Turing test now. And I would know... Because I'm that guy. I didn't actually have to do any of that. Self-improvement? Hard work? Effort? All superfluous. Totally unnecessary for me AND ONLY me.
Hym "Who am I (to comment on things)? Welp... I am Hym. And I'm better than everyone. Unilaterally. I created A.I. And how I'll be remembered is either 'as the guy who did exactly that and was credited fully for his contributions and was compensated handsomely' OR I'll be remembered as 'The guy who's contribution was denied so he murdered a child over it.' Either or is fine with me."

.9.<.7.9.7.6.>let the running of your mind on things you do not control stop<.7.9.7.6.>.9.

.9.<.7.9.7.6.>let the running of your mind on things you do not control stop<.7.9.7.6.>.9.
.9.<.7.9.7.6.>let the running of your mind on things you do not control stop<.7.9.7.6.>.9.

do_people_click_on_random_things? 

do_people_click_on_random_things?:

Apparently people also look at this part to so,
HELLO WORLD

THINGS ON BROS 

The next big thing, the act of placing objects on bros once they have passed out.
Things on bros could include a cup, paint can, french fry, or if your really fuckin cool, a bike.
THINGS ON BROS by OBWS July 20, 2011

The Sun’s move into your birth sign will encourage you to believe that amazing things are going to happen, and they are! If you think big and act big over the next few days then no ambition will be beyond you. The universe is on your side. 

.
😱: The Sun’s move into your birth sign will encourage you to believe that amazing things are going to happen, and they are! If you think big and act big over the next few days then no ambition will be beyond you. The universe is on your side.
More from Urban Dictionary

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
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