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ASSWIPE Litigation 

Legal Term. Bullshitting your way through litigation.

(A)sserting
(S)tupid
(S)hit
(W)hile
(I)ntentionally
(P)ussyfooting
(E)Evidence
Knowing he would lose the case on the facts, Cornelius was forced to employ ASSWIPE litigation tactics.
ASSWIPE Litigation by Melissa Lynne January 18, 2008

cock litigation

The act of two, or more, rival male suitors attempting to convince a would be companion of their sexual superiority and why they should be selected for a sexual encounter.
After three hours of heated barroom cock litigation, and despite the testimony of several eyewitnesses, David failed to make a persuasive case and Sheila decided to go home with Walter.

Apparition Litigation 

For those individuals supranaturally inclined, a proposal that would allow 'spirit' or 'ghost' testimony--verbal, written or gesture, as legitimate court evidence and admissible for legal proceedings. Attestation provided by creatures such as pixies, genies, fairies, mermaids, leprechauns, centaurs, chimeras, imps, ghouls, gnomes, trolls, hippogriffs, basalisks, dragons and/or werewolves, among others, are patently disallowed due to their imaginary or mythological status.
Prosecution: Mrs. Jones is on trial for the murder of her husband. Forensic evidence will show that she struck him on the back of the head with a large iron skillet. Testimony from our medical expert will show that the blow crushed his skull and fragments of bone severed large arteries supplying his brain. Furthermore, we have an eye-witness to the events as provided by the account of Elder Price, a Mormon evangelist who had just rung the residence door-bell.

Defense: Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury--Mrs. Jones is completely innocent of this heinous crime. As our evidence is presented, you will see that it was Mrs. Kristienz, the DECEASED Ex-wife of Mr. Jones, who is responsible for his murder...we call Mrs. Kristianz to the stand!

Bailiff: Mrs. Kristianz, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Mrs. Kristianz?

Judge: Mrs. Kristianz, do you realize that you must answer the question, gesture or provide a written response? Mrs. Kristianz? Apparition Litigation in continuance until further notice...
Apparition Litigation by YAWA May 13, 2019

Poor man's lamination 

Covering paper with clear packaging tape as a cheap alternative to laminating. Similar method used for repairing torn dollar bills or ripped photos.
I didn't want the paper to get ripped, so I gave it a poor man's lamination with some tape I had in my desk.
Poor man's lamination by velenosangue November 30, 2009

litigation 

To sue for damages, seeking compensation for the slightest violation of rights. Often this involves the prosecution not having common sense. See nanny state, political correctness, idiot.
Suing a cigarette company because you got cancer, which may have been caused by the smokes. Because there was no clear warning, despite it being well known they are dangerous to health(documentation dates to world war I), the prosecution claims she was not aware and sues for billions of dollars.
litigation by Kung-Fu Jesus April 26, 2004

laminating the ham

The act of waxing a male's genital area to render it smooth and hairless.
Deeples' girlfriend was tired of his grizzly sac all up in her business, so at her request he began laminating the ham.
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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