jesus it 

The Sexual Act of physically nailing a partner to a bed through the hands and ankles. Extreme BDSM and extremely kinky. Not recommended for couples in love as the partner could bleed out during sex.

John: "That girl I hooked up with last night is really crazy, she wanted to Jesus it last night"
Dave: "Jesus Christ that's insane"

jesus it by onesickmotherfo April 25, 2017

jesus it up 

VERB;tO put Jesus in weird situations
many are found on google images

Jesus Cow
Jesus the Freshmaker
Bowling with Jesus
Chees 'n' Jesus
jESUS haT
Jesus Not Coming Back Press Conference

jesus it up by the revolution May 5, 2004

Jesus it’s early 

When you wake up at 3 in the afternoon and need a beer.

Jesus it’s early, lys, get me a beer!

Jesus it’s early by Junior A god August 1, 2018

fix it jesus 

when someone is doing something so shameful/extra that you need Jesus to fix it for you because it has become too much. or when something foul has happened and only Jesus can help. made famous by Phaedra Parks from the real housewives of Atlanta.

teacher: "I'm assigning you an essay and a project due the day you come back from winter break"
me: "fix it Jesus

or
person #1: "this guy in my class who I've never talked to before just came up to me and told me my mom was a MILF!
person #2: fix it jesus, that is so strange!

fix it jesus by poopemoji January 13, 2016

That's how Jesus did it 

Phrase said after something truly remarkable is stated; generally for adding extra emphasis on how amazing something is.

Ronnie: How did you do at the track meet?
Kristen: I just high jumped 6' 3''!!!!
Ronnie: Awesome, That's how Jesus did it!!

That's how Jesus did it by IIIEvans July 13, 2010

jesus did it 

an expression you use at random and completely inappropriate moments to cause confusion and mass laughter

NAT: who stole my coats?
ME: Jesus did it, don't question it

jesus did it by hanrose December 26, 2007

it jesus 

information technologist who performs a technical mircle on a computer and/or laptop that been given it's last rights.

I took my laptop to BestBuy and they told me that it would be $2000 to send my hard drive away and maybe get some information from it. So I prayed and my IT Jesus and he saved my life and my laptop.

it jesus by Doolbox March 13, 2008