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jerkin the gerkin

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Beating off, paddling the pud, spanking the monkey, rubbing the meat.
by matt October 28, 2003
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jerkin the gerkin

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(use females' hand when availble), put lube on hand and and stroke cock
by Braveheart January 9, 2004
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Of the male: Masturbating with a pubic wig on.
"Geeves, what on earth are you doing in Lord Boddington's room this late at night?"

"Sorry, ma'am, but I heard a commotion down the hall, so I scurried to investigate the matter. Twas but a false alarm, the young master was simply jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin"

From "Geeves, that the stupid thing off his genitals" by Forsworth Littlingshire
by thelordofroostahz June 14, 2011
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jerkin the gherkin

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A term used for male masturbation. Unsure of the background, maybe there are some guys out there with green vinegary penises.
"Brian had enough of MTV, so he turned to Television X for some real porn. Aroused, he began jerkin' the gherkin".
by Ben Rockitt May 10, 2004
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