it jesus 

information technologist who performs a technical mircle on a computer and/or laptop that been given it's last rights.

I took my laptop to BestBuy and they told me that it would be $2000 to send my hard drive away and maybe get some information from it. So I prayed and my IT Jesus and he saved my life and my laptop.

it jesus by Doolbox March 13, 2008

fix it jesus 

when someone is doing something so shameful/extra that you need Jesus to fix it for you because it has become too much. or when something foul has happened and only Jesus can help. made famous by Phaedra Parks from the real housewives of Atlanta.

teacher: "I'm assigning you an essay and a project due the day you come back from winter break"
me: "fix it Jesus

or
person #1: "this guy in my class who I've never talked to before just came up to me and told me my mom was a MILF!
person #2: fix it jesus, that is so strange!

fix it jesus by poopemoji January 13, 2016

Is it Jesus 

Usually in an elementary school class after the teacher says that there is a guest. Best if used in a Catholic school.

Teacher: Today we have a special guest class.
Student; Is it Jesus?

Is it Jesus by Jesus is here February 9, 2009

Jacking It to Jesus

The higher your hair is, the closer you are to the Lord.

If the Pagent Princess wants to win the crown, she has to make sure her stylist is Jacking It to Jesus during hair and make-up.

Jacking It to Jesus by MrsMissa January 1, 2012

Give it to Jesus 

When things in life get out of control, you have to decide what stresses are not worth worrying about.

Dude that's too bad your 401k just tanked on the stock market. But there's nothing you do about it so Give it to Jesus.

Give it to Jesus by PPink February 20, 2009

jesus it up 

VERB;tO put Jesus in weird situations
many are found on google images

Jesus Cow
Jesus the Freshmaker
Bowling with Jesus
Chees 'n' Jesus
jESUS haT
Jesus Not Coming Back Press Conference

jesus it up by the revolution May 5, 2004

jesus it 

The Sexual Act of physically nailing a partner to a bed through the hands and ankles. Extreme BDSM and extremely kinky. Not recommended for couples in love as the partner could bleed out during sex.

John: "That girl I hooked up with last night is really crazy, she wanted to Jesus it last night"
Dave: "Jesus Christ that's insane"

jesus it by onesickmotherfo April 25, 2017