illegitimate father 

1. A father who does not acknowledge his children.

2. A father who acknowledges a child or children privately and not publicly.

3. A father who acknowledges paternity but does not take responsibility equal to the mother for meeting the child's needs.

Thomas Jefferson was an illegitimate father of a number of children.

illegitimate father by Denverite3 December 12, 2014

illegitimate masturbating 

1. what jesus is said to have condemned as the greatest sin to be commited as "it is wasting thy knuckle children into a sock only to be put into the bottom ov a hamper."

2. what is done on a daily basis in the white house

3. learning algebra

4. sharing files on frostwire

i gotta go do some illegitimate masturbating

illegitimate masturbating by incipitsathanas October 19, 2009

illegitimate child 

A child whose parents were not married to each other at the time of his or her birth.

You're an illegitimate child! At least my parents were married!

illegitimate child by CallMeDanni_xx July 31, 2016

illegitimate 

Used to describe that a child is not yours. Thus, making you immune to child support.

Can be traced back to as early as greek mythology.

Zeus or Posiden had a baby with Hoecles who had a son named Illegitimacus

Since Hoecles cannot prove that Zeus or Posiden are the father, Illegitimacus is therefore Illegitimate, meaning none of them have to pay child support

illegitimate by italian-props to wops- September 18, 2006

illegitimate invitation 

Issuing an invitation which the other person can't accept, in the hope that you get credit for asking but don't have to follow through.

J. "Wanna go to dinner?"
N. "You know I gotta babysit my sister's 4 kids! That's an illegitimate invitation!"

illegitimate invitation by wordgrl August 5, 2008

illegitimate weiner cousin 

gaining a weiner cousin through your wife while married

My wife cheated on me so many times that I have no idea how many illegitimate weiner cousins I have.

illegitimate weiner cousin by timmy10 October 15, 2019

Illegitimate Arse Cancer 

A silent fart so rancid it is worthy of being deemed illegal and punishable by expulsion from a room.

Dude, that is the worse case of illegitimate arse cancer I have ever smelt. Leave now.

Illegitimate Arse Cancer by rudiruu August 8, 2009