I had 

sex with

your mother

"i had"

I had by I eat poop 69 January 11, 2022

I had one but it died 

An expression one uses when one is insulting/spreading gossip about someone, and the given person walks into the room.

Yeah man Kerren is the biggest fucking whore to ever grace...Kerren walks in
Yeah so actually, I had one, but it died.

I had one but it died by Chap_Melf May 7, 2004

I had something for this 

Phase, used after forgetting a one liner

as used by Sterling Archer

Archer: Damn, I had something for this, too... um... damn it. Eat grenade, stupids!

I had something for this by Crazybmws May 2, 2011

I had to beat them to death with their own shoes

One of the coolest quotes ever.

"But the shopkeeper and his son, that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes..."

I had to beat them to death with their own shoes by thatgirldrinkinglemonade July 9, 2003

i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out 

you screwed up bigtime. fr on god.

person 1: i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out
person 2: you fucking what??? you goin to jail cuhhhhhhhhh

i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out by some random ahh mothafucka idk June 6, 2022

I had one but the wheels fell off 

A sarcastic reply, used when you don't understand what the other person is saying (commonly technical).

Frenchie: C'est ville quos muos pume rouge j'aime marsh'mallo
Paul: I had one but the wheels fell off.

or

Person A: All you have to do is remove the hydraulic overhead slip ring so the cam will meet the side flange.
Person B: Yeah, I had one but the wheels fell off.

I had one but the wheels fell off by weavile22 December 27, 2010

I had a girlfriend like that once

A joke similar to "That's what she said"
A funny comment said when a person makes a statement that could also describe an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.

Lee: Don't worry it's wide enough to fit two or three.
Thomas: I had a girlfriend like that once...

Christina: It's so small I can barely see it.
Lynne: I had a boyfriend like that once...

I had a girlfriend like that once by Jeff Zuckerman April 22, 2008