horoscopic

When your horoscopes are your religion; you believe fully in everything horoscopes say and swear by it.

'What religion are you?'

'Oh, I'm horoscopic. Hey have you seen a newspaper?'

by whiteshadow28 February 11, 2009

Horoscope

Bullshit

Horoscope isn't real

by Dat🅱️oi March 21, 2020

horoscope

A bunch of hokey pokey witchcraft made up by hippies.

There goes Madison again, reading her stupid horoscope for the day.

by Bobby Freakin Hill April 24, 2017

horoscope

A load of horseshit.

My Facebook friends spam my news feed with horoscopes and I just want to punch them in the face

by Falsifications August 20, 2016

horoscope

A vague and nonspecific prediction of the future.

What you might find in your horoscope:

"You are somewhat tall"

"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"

What you will not find in your horoscope:

"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."

"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."

by The Definitionizer December 8, 2006

Horoscope

Telescope that can only see whores

"A horoscope, what's that a telescope that can only see your face..."

by Avocado_ Alien July 17, 2018

Horoscope

A forecast of someone's future. Typically based on the month or year that they were born in.

This website is filled with tons of fucking advertisements that claim to give you a horoscope.

by Another jealous gay fag November 30, 2015