by Avocado_ Alien July 17, 2018
by Another jealous gay fag November 30, 2015
by Bobby Freakin Hill April 24, 2017
by Falsifications August 20, 2016
What you might find in your horoscope:
"You are somewhat tall"
"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"
What you will not find in your horoscope:
"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."
"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
"You are somewhat tall"
"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"
What you will not find in your horoscope:
"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."
"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
by The Definitionizer December 08, 2006
An astrological prediction of someone's future based on the position of the planets and the signs of zodiac at a particular time and place
Person #1: What's your zodiac sign?
Person #2: Aquarius.
Person #1: What's your horoscope for today?
Person #2: *checks horoscope* Uh- it says I'll "get even with a rival before things got worse".
Person #2: Aquarius.
Person #1: What's your horoscope for today?
Person #2: *checks horoscope* Uh- it says I'll "get even with a rival before things got worse".
by ValeriaAtWhitby May 16, 2006