telescope

One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.

(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)

*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*

LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?

RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.

LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?

RAJ: Why? You writing a book?

SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.

RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!

SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

*Howard walks over to the table.*

HOWARD: Hey.

LEONARD: Hey.

SHELDON: Hello.

HOWARD: Hey.

RAJ: Hey.

LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*

HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!

RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!

HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!

RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!

HOWARD: Fine!

RAJ: Thank you!

RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.

by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013

telescope

A great instrument used to spy on sexy ladies getting dressed.

Try watching a sexy girl get dressed with a telescope.

by spycatcher December 18, 2004

telescoping

to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping

by luvchild1 September 22, 2009

Telescoping

Doing research on someone in a professional capacity, as preparation for an interview or informational meet up. I.e. you've only interacted briefly through email, so now you need to know what they look like, where/what they studied, and what work they're doing now, etc. before you hop on the phone or meet for an in-person coffee.

Can also be purely interest-based, e.g. someone you think is doing cool shit, want to get to know, and possibly collab with.

Basically internet stalking, but with the goal to come prepared to have a great convo and finesse a connection.

Something ambitious millennial artists and yuppies do, so they're in the know with dope people in their industry.

I'm getting coffee with them tomorrow, but I don't even know what they look like, so I'll have to do some telescoping tonight.

by rwisgjg August 22, 2019

Telescoping

A form of urethra play, in which an individual with a very large penis is fucked in the urethra by someone with a smaller penis

Dude#1“Bro u ever stick a cotton bud up in ya dickhole? Shits dope”

Dude#2“Bitch please u ever try telescoping? Get yo dick out and lemme fuck your dick with my dick”

by Shittybottomus November 28, 2018

Telescope

Putting your eye to the end of a penis as the guy cums into your eye and you keep it there until it goes soft.

Jane saw that Ben was hard and said "do you want to telescope", Ben unzipped his trousers.

by Poopy poop November 12, 2013

the telescope

when being at an overcrowded location ( eg train, tram, bus ) you encounter a massive boner and thus the action of 'telescoping' must be employed. this means flippin your erect peepee out of your pants not forming a bulge in the crotch area, rather hiding it smugly paralell to your stomach, under your tshirt.

"Dude i had such a massive bone on the bus that i had to do a telescope!"

by vANis November 24, 2003