The name of the Great Smoked Pork Lion in the book "The Lying Bitch & Her Wardrobe". He is the guardian of the enchanted land of Yawnia.
Haslet, The King of Beastly Snacks, opened his mighty jaws and belched. The mighty wind of His great eructation bent every tree in Yawnia, and the aroma of smoked ham covered the enchanted land.
Not quite rural not quite a suburb. Haslet Texas is a small town in north Texas where you look out your window and you can see the cows and horses almost every direction. Nothing to do out there except go get drunk and drive your four wheelers around the street.
A high school in Michigan in the Lower Peninsula. Not too much happens there, but thats just what THEY want you to think!
Haslett High School is secretly a nuclear missile silo with each warhead pointing at gumpy Canada. Invasion from those dirty Canucks is no secret, so why not make a high school into a missile silo? Thanks to specialized military training, every student of Haslett High School is a covert military ninja of death. The next time you visit dreary Haslett, be sure to ask about their nuclear program and someone will be more than happy to tell you about it.
Deep within the school is not only the home of three thousand nukes, but several hundred fighter jets and helicopters. Those weapons may seem conventional and sissy but Haslett is secretly the testing ground of future American weapons. For instance, the flaming shark surfboard and a 20 foot long "rectal bulb syringe" capable of giving a Canadian an enema a mile away are a few among the many deadly weapons within Haslett's arsenal.
Sure Haslett High School might have sucky sports teams and mediocre ACT scores, but when it comes to covert military operations, Haslett is NUMBER ONE!