Parents 

The people in your life you will most love or most hate in the entire universe. Often a bit of both.

On the phone: "Ughh. I'm sorry I can't come my parents don't allow me to do anything."
Next day:" I love my parents you never know when you may need them."

Parents by an idiot defines... April 28, 2019

Parents 

People who raise you and care for you... at least... if they are good ones. And sadly that is not always the case.

Jerry: sup homie
Tom: hey fucko
Bitc- i mean mom: WHAT DID YOU SAY TOM?
Tom: its just an inside joke mom chill!
devi- dad: NO SWEARING IN THIS HOUSE! JERRY GO HOME I GOT TO BEAT HIM UP WITH THE BELT.
Jerry: The fuck?
Tom: eh dont worry about it happens all the time

Oh boy its child protective services time!

and thats the story on how the parents of tom went to fucking prison!

Parents by Alexander the Great 412 November 8, 2019

Parents 

The people who walk inside your room and make you lose in a video game because they want you to clean up their shit

My parents walked into the room and told me to clean up their smelly shit they left on the floor for me to clean up just to make me lose call of duty.

Parents by fluffypenis June 25, 2014

parents 

the chains around your ankles until you've managed to a) runaway b) obtain a stable job and stable income c) die d) turn 18.

i'd be getting laid if it weren't for my parents.

parents by amanda August 22, 2004

parents 

1.) those who, because they gave birth to you, claim to have complete control over your life, personality, friends, clothing, and any other specifics that define you as an individual.

2.) the people that want to mold you exactally after their wonderful selves, and then resent you when you aren't what they expected.

3.) the people who other conceited, ignorant adults tell you that you will someday appreciate, but in reality, you look back and pray to god you don't turn into them.

4.) instigators of the breakfast club syndrome.

it never occurs to parents that it doesn't take a genius to get knocked up.

parents by happiness_is September 4, 2008

Parents 

The people that every child hates, whether they say so or not. The only ways of escaping them include dying, turning 18 and buying a house, or simply running away. The last one is not reccommened.

-CHARACTER TRAITS & HABITS:-

• They think that they know everything about you, including your food, music, movie, personality, and sexual preference. Once again, they're always right, even when you're obviously nothing like what they say.

• They believe that they reserve the right to automatically win any arguement of their choosing. When the far greater majority believes the oppsosite of what they say, but is comprised if children, the parent/s can automatically win and end the argument by saying "ENOUGH!" or "too bad", and nothing else can be said about it without serious risk of getting grounded or being ranted at/dismembered. This goes for anything else they say as well.

• They will often embarass you in front of your friends. The parent/s will often claim that they "forgot" or they "won't do it again", despite the fact that even they know that that isn't true. Every person has at least one story of this.

• Nearly every father will attempt to crack a wisey/pun/obviously crappy joke to your friends. Said friends will either pretend to laugh and then secretly shun you, or just drop you and not hang out with you.

-Parents: Hey son! You know that 2+2=5?
-Child: Actually, we all know that it's 4...
-Parent: *swears under their breath* AHA, but I was just testing you!

-Parent: Come on son, let's go to the P!NK festival!
-Child: *honestly* AWW DAD, I hate P!NK! You take me every year and I never enjoy myself!
-Parent: Yes you do, you just haven't given it a chance. Now shut up.

-Child: Dad, can I go to the party and play HALO?
-Parent: No you can't! Those things are bad for every part of you! You are never going to a party! EVER!
-Child: But dad-!
-Parent: SHUT UP KID OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!

-Child: Now don't say anything, just drop me off at school.
-Mother: Sure thing darling.
*2 MINUTES LATER*
-Mother: Now don't forget darling, we're going tampon shopping on the weekend, and you can get that pink fluffy SESAME STREET one you've been gasbagging about! I love you honey-poo!

-Friend: Ms. Smith, can I have an ice cream?
-Mother: Sure thing, kid!
-Child: Mother, may I have an ice cream, please?
-Mother: NO, YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER? GO AWAY!

-Child, thinking: Man I hop dad doesn't show off his legendary humour skills...
-Father: HEY KIDS! Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!! *cracks up* Man I'm hilarious! Eh, kids?
-Friends: No, we're gonna beat up your child which we used to be friends with now.

Parents by -ANON379- June 28, 2011

Parents 

The only thing stopping you from living life and learning from your mistakes. They take away your freedom for no reason and never let you do anything fun. They're nosy too so you have to keep a billion secrets from them.

Joe: Dude, why cant you come to the movies tonight with me, Lauren, and Vicki??

Billy: My parents grounded me for not calling my grandmother on her birthday. Laaame. They also think Im gonna get someone preggers so I cant hang out with girls.

Parents by spazzimagee123 May 29, 2009