Subconjunctival hemorrhage is a broken blood vessel in the eye caused by a lack of the following: vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, cunnilingus, anilingus, kissing, flirting, fondling, hugging, and a lack of loving text messages from someone special.
The condition is self-resolving with an adequate amount of TLC from the appropriate person. Preferable done away from life, for a minimum of two nights...just you and me...secluded from the world.
Betty: Dude, my eye... I've got a bad case of subconjunctival hemorrhage thanks to you.
Bobby: Get your naked ass over to my house and I'll make it better.
The leaders of the Proud Boys and the Oath Keepers claim that due to all of their legal expenses continuing to be paid out since the January 6th insurrection, they are hemorrhaging money!