A method of masturbation where the flaccid penis is pressed against a hard surface such as a floor or rockery. The person then proceeds to repeatedly half pushing out a poo until an orgasm is reached but be careful not to push it out too far or you will poo yourself. This is best done with some pornography in view but can be done innocently infront of a television by watching fleshy music channels.
I had an orgasm in my living room with my wholefamily in there and nobody noticed because of fudgocytosis!
When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.