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Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert
One of four hosts for the beerists podcast who is 90% Polish and 10% Japanese and goes by Maiku. When aroused, he has the ability to use his dirty dick as a Katana, Tonto blade, a ruler and a thermometer for toilets to tell you what the temperature of the toilet water is and how deep the toilet is. Be careful not to say Midori three times in a row or else he will show up in his Kimono and Zori and strangle you with his chain wallet or his dreadlocks which he keeps in his closet. His 24andMe is written in Hentai.
Man 1: "Hey man what are you listening to?"
Man 2: "The Beerists Podcast..."
Man 1: "Oh! I love that show! That Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert guy is soooo white!"
Man 2: "You mean the Japanese guy?"
Man 1: "Uhh... He's definitely white, man..."
Man 2: "Oh okay sure and I can Davis Dip my entire right arm."
Man 1: "Psh! Whatevs brotein shake!"
Man 2: "Well I'll talk to you later, here."
**Man 2 hands Man 1 a small origami swan and runs away**
**Man 1 unfolds origami swan and reads aloud the following**
"MIDORI! MIDORI! MIDORI!"
**Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert appears and chooses to strangle Man 1 with his chain wallet and vanishes leaving a small pile of Hot Topic coupons, but not in a pejorative way**
Man 2: "The Beerists Podcast..."
Man 1: "Oh! I love that show! That Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert guy is soooo white!"
Man 2: "You mean the Japanese guy?"
Man 1: "Uhh... He's definitely white, man..."
Man 2: "Oh okay sure and I can Davis Dip my entire right arm."
Man 1: "Psh! Whatevs brotein shake!"
Man 2: "Well I'll talk to you later, here."
**Man 2 hands Man 1 a small origami swan and runs away**
**Man 1 unfolds origami swan and reads aloud the following**
"MIDORI! MIDORI! MIDORI!"
**Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert appears and chooses to strangle Man 1 with his chain wallet and vanishes leaving a small pile of Hot Topic coupons, but not in a pejorative way**
Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert by JewBoy98 February 14, 2019
Dillydicking
Dillydicking by ezzy4863 March 4, 2011
dirty dick rodney
A jerk. A creep. A womanizer. A "bad boy". A promiscuous heterosexual man with a penchant for bedding women who are already in committed relationships.
dirty dick rodney by davidcpuffer April 21, 2022
Dirty dick syndrome
When a man has sex with numerous women without protection and not caring about passing along infections or diseases.
I had sex with Scott on the weekend that had sex with Dawn last weekend now I have his Dirty dick syndrome.
Dirty dick syndrome by Meathead MacDonald May 15, 2018
dirty dick licker
dirty dick licker by jon jonz February 25, 2004
More from Urban Dictionary
Frothability
The measure of an emotional and over zealous consumer in an upwardly charging market, also known as a bull market. It's characterized by rising asset prices, increased investor confidence, and favorable growth in the markets, bro.
The frothability was evident as over-zealous consumers eagerly engaged in bidding wars, driving property prices to unsustainable levels reminiscent of previous speculative bubbles.
Frothability by cptn.kagaroo1 January 26, 2024
Word of the Day on November 12, 2026
Soul digger
A man who dates women with the sole purpose of exploiting their time, energy, and labor while he sucks the joy and happiness from their lives.
"That guy's a soul digger. He'll expect you to work full time, but you'll be doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and childcare while he plays video games or watches TV."
Soul digger by anonymous November 11, 2026
Word of the Day on November 11, 2026
pod person
A person pretending to be something they aren't, or an impostor. This is inferred because of the old alien movies where alien pods appear on earth and the "pod people" dispose of the humans and slowly reproduce the bodies, pretending to be humans.
The pod person was pretending to be my father, but I knew that he was an alien when he acted differently than my father ever would have.
pod person by Christopher M. May 9, 2005
Word of the Day on November 10, 2026
dead drop
A dead drop is a location used to secretly pass items between two people, without requiring them to meet.
Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.
A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.
A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
"The dead drop is the restroom toilet at the Gulf station at the corner of Commercial Ave. and Georges Rd."
dead drop by rubberroom July 23, 2008
Word of the Day on November 9, 2026
No Surprises Wedding
A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
No Surprises Wedding by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023
Word of the Day on November 8, 2026