beersack
Recently invented because of the world's most amusing last name during a discussion about how stupid little sad emo/scene teenagers look.
A beersack is your one friend who is great to hang out with... until they have one too many beers; they turn pathetic and dumpy. They like to drink but they're bad at alcohol. It's the pathetic antithesis of alcohol induced narcissism. They might be a moderately bland nice guy by day but introduce that 4th Heineken to turn them into an exceptionally sad and boring sack of meat. Alcohol is your liquid courage and their experimental spine removal surgery. Typical beersack behavior:
- Cussing about his crappy recent ex. Calling her a half hour later and leaving a drunken voicemail. They will be back together 48 hours later.
- Mentioning a girl he wants to talk to at the bar. You will encourage him to go talk to her. He will say "yeah you're right" and then just awkwardly stand around looking longing and thirsty.
- Hovering near a conversation, occasionally laughing meekly at jokes.
- Will sometimes meekly introduce themselves to other patrons or to women. If acknowledged they are likely to stammer awkwardly to a stop in the middle of a statement.
- A worsening state of stupidity aggressively above the typical consumption curve.
WARNING: All of these examples involve bars. This is because you should never drink alone with a confirmed beersack. Ennui and depression will host a death race to claim your brain. Both will win.
A beersack is your one friend who is great to hang out with... until they have one too many beers; they turn pathetic and dumpy. They like to drink but they're bad at alcohol. It's the pathetic antithesis of alcohol induced narcissism. They might be a moderately bland nice guy by day but introduce that 4th Heineken to turn them into an exceptionally sad and boring sack of meat. Alcohol is your liquid courage and their experimental spine removal surgery. Typical beersack behavior:
- Cussing about his crappy recent ex. Calling her a half hour later and leaving a drunken voicemail. They will be back together 48 hours later.
- Mentioning a girl he wants to talk to at the bar. You will encourage him to go talk to her. He will say "yeah you're right" and then just awkwardly stand around looking longing and thirsty.
- Hovering near a conversation, occasionally laughing meekly at jokes.
- Will sometimes meekly introduce themselves to other patrons or to women. If acknowledged they are likely to stammer awkwardly to a stop in the middle of a statement.
- A worsening state of stupidity aggressively above the typical consumption curve.
WARNING: All of these examples involve bars. This is because you should never drink alone with a confirmed beersack. Ennui and depression will host a death race to claim your brain. Both will win.
"Dude, I am not hanging out with Brad this weekend."
'Why not man? He's cool.'
"He's a total beersack."
'Oh, god. I totally forgot about that night he spent 2 hours calling Tiffany a whore and then staring at the bartender like a lost puppy. What a beersack!'
'Why not man? He's cool.'
"He's a total beersack."
'Oh, god. I totally forgot about that night he spent 2 hours calling Tiffany a whore and then staring at the bartender like a lost puppy. What a beersack!'
beersack by wamberlamps May 2, 2015
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