assture 

a big ass

Travon has perfect football assture.

assture by jaboolehah September 12, 2003

asstune 

fart, buttgas, flatulence, methane melody, ripper, browncloud, poof - also variable for the name Austin.

Sammy smiled and ripped a short but vile asstune as he left the room to go feed the cats.

asstune by Diogio Rome January 9, 2009

assturbation 

To pleasure the anal cavity of oneself with the intent of sexual gratification.

I really wanted to go down on her last night, but when I got home she was in the middle of an assturbation session to the new Justin Timberlake video.

assturbation by decamel August 28, 2013

Rest Assured 

A phrase that is utilized to express positiveness, a guarantee, or just general "knowing" of a person, subject, or event.

Jake: "Was the party at TJ's really as cool as everyone said it was?"
Dre: "Hell yeah man. Everyone was having a good time."
Jake: "Man, for real? And I missed it?!"
Dre: "Rest Assured Jake. You missed more than you'll ever know..."

Rest Assured by stunna3098 October 9, 2011

Mutally Assured Destruction 

The principle underlying nuclear deterrence.

The recognition that the use of nuclear weapons between any two nuclear powers (or nuclear-allied powers) will result in mutual destruction. The reason nuclear weapons are so useful (and can never be used).

Mutually Assured Destruction guarantees that nobody but those crazy Arabs will ever use nukes.

Mutally Assured Destruction by Jose Fuentes February 12, 2004

Assturbate 

To bring oneself to orgasm by various acts of anal-simulation.

Vanilla masturbation doesn't work for me anymore, now the only way I can cum is if I assturbate.

Assturbate by Tenshin_ April 7, 2016

Assturbation 

Masturbation focused on pleasuring the butt, whether it be by massage or insertion.

Wow, this banana is frozen rock solid. I'm gonna have a good assturbation session tonight!

Assturbation by Twiggins Q. Neugebauer June 20, 2011