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you are not the father 

The opposite of you are the father. Meaning a male is not the biological father of a child.

Most often also heard on the Maury Show, when the girl who was banging 16 different guys at the time she got pregnant has no idea who her baby daddy is.

Unlike its counterpart, the words every guy wants to hear if they had sex with some of the nasty ho's on there.
Denise, a 17 year old mother of Shantell, is 1000% sure Elron is the father of the little girl. Elron has stated 'Dat baby don' look nutin' like me' and 'Dat girl iz a hoe!" while Denise screams at him to 'Be a man!' and "Step up to yo' responsibilitays!" Maury holds the envelope-

"When it comes to the case of 2-year old Shantell, Elron...you are NOT the father!"

*Elron then stands up overjoyed and elated, and calls Denise a hoe, slut, and bitch or other similar words as she runs off crying. Elron then whoops it up with the crowd while Denise screams in agony
you are not the father by ACG2x September 8, 2004

You are not the father 

The words that every man loves to hear!
Maury: I hold in my hand the results to the paternity test and...

Cole: *sweating*

Maury: Cole You are not the father!

Cole: I told you bitch I wasn't!
You are not the father by Ari Shaffir September 25, 2011

You are NOT the father 

If you are on the Maury show, and as your head is producing a shower of sweat, to hear those words is like dodging a bullet Maxtrix style. You gloat and probably dance around while that hoe breaks down in tears and runs off to the backstage area to cry harder and sometimes louder.
"In the case of 7th month old child Shauna, Jason, you are NOT the father."

*She breaks down in tears and runs off backstage while Jason does a Michael Jackson impersonation and yells, "THE KID IS NOT MY SON!!!"*

you are not the birdman! 

A way to describe someone who does not belong or has done something stupid or just plain sucks.

Also sometimes pronounced birdmang.
Merlin: Why won't Cindy talk to me?

Nick: Simple, YOU ARE NOT THE BIRDMAN!

You are not the Valedictorian.

When someone decides to make an impromptu speech at a party or event.
Britany: *stands up and trys to hush the crowd*

I just wanted to thank all you guys for coming out to Marcys party tonight…

Casey: Sit the f**k down. You are not the Valedictorian.

You are not the intended recipient

A term used to freindzone someone by conveying that they are not the person who should receive their love. This is usually said in disdain towards the other person.
I'm sorry, but you are not the intended recipient of my love.
More from Urban Dictionary
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026
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