The Cactus

The delicate art of having sex 2-3 days after shaving your man-pubes, timing it so that your schlong is at the height of the prickly 'Cactus-like' phase.
Guy's Friend - "So, did you have fun with Jessie last night?"

Guy - "Yeah, I totally pulled 'The Cactus' on her, that's what she get's for never making me a sammich!
by CaptainNMorgan July 28, 2010
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cactus

A green plant that is shy. If you attemp to hug it you'll have tons of needles in you, they're extremely dangerous and overprotective of their water.
That cactus shanked me
by SUMFURRYTHING June 26, 2016
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cactus

"this bloody washing machine is cactus"
by aenema August 16, 2003
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Cactus

A Cactus is just an office plant but deadlier. A Cactus uses others in their workplace as collateral damage in order to gain their bosses approval. A cactus has no limits in throwing the number of colleagues under the bus but generally singles out 1 certain colleague who is already not in favour with the said boss.
Boy Sheldo has really stepped it up lately and become a cactus, just so he can get that certificate.
by The Real Plant June 14, 2018
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Cactus

The type of thing you don't wanna use to wipe your ass.
I adopted a cactus last month. I feel less lonely.
by Noodle Doodle Faloola May 28, 2020
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cactus

I'm a cactus
by teresa t-bag April 10, 2009
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cactus

A phylum of plants that has evolved to live in arid conditions.

Pl:Cactii
If you're lost in a desert with nothing to drink, there can be up to a pint of water inside a cactus.
by robcraine December 28, 2005
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