jesus

The guy who came and died on the cross to pay the debt of my sins.

Analogy:

In the court...
Judge: Danapal, you have a debt.
Danapal: Yes,I am sorry, it won't happen again.

Jesus walks in and hands the judge the money I owe.

Danapal: Thank you Jesus!

by Danapal August 14, 2005

jesus

Jesus Christ is the son of God according to the Christian faith.

Jesus is my homeboy. Amen.

by lucky April 02, 2005

jesus

the original zombie

dude jesus died on a cross and came back 3 days later

by jren15 September 14, 2012

jesus

jesus (verb) to make a girl cum twice. (derived from the second coming of Jesus Christ)

Person1: Is your girl still mad at you?
Person2: Nah I jesus'd her and we're good now.

by Cock and Ball Torture November 22, 2016

jesus

The most well-known Jew, after Woody Allen.

Woody Allen is a mitzvah to humankind! Jesus? What chutzpah!

by copyjew June 29, 2006

jesus

A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father that can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can remove an evil force in your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Easter: Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

by Squee4Starscream March 09, 2008

jesus

Jesus is the way to God. He died for all of us and loves us very much.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:16

by Emery Day April 11, 2007