Skip to main content

Testiphony 

A testimony given that is known to not be true.
Rod Blagojevich gave his testiphony today in court.
Testiphony by GParker February 18, 2009

Testiphoney 

Legal. False and misleading statements under oath.
After he testified in court, they found out he was lying and sentenced him to 6 months for testiphoney.
Testiphoney by Cabot Wonder August 11, 2009

Intestinal Testimony 

A gastrointestinal event by which you are made aware of impending disaster, either in the form or noxious flatulence, explosive diarrhea, or the dreaded shart. Intestinal Testimony (IT) presents as loud gurgling noises coming from the region of the abdomen usually below the navel. It is audible to up to fifteen feet away. Not to be confused with an actual fart, with IT there is no expulsion of gas or feces, just the heralding trumpets of the massive toilet turmoil to come.
No, Gary is just giviing Intestinal Testimony to the shit he is about to take. I told him not to eat that much king crab!!

Twisted Testiphobia 

The fear of one's testicles becoming twisted and/or knotted, resulting in deep physical and emotional pain. Occurs most often while one is sleeping on his side, or while one's girlfriend is playing with the testicles too aggressively.
"Struck with the fear of twisted testiphobia, Luke hasn't been able to sleep on his side for 3 years now."

"When the thought of walking became unbearable, Tony's case of twisted testiphobia confined him to a wheelchair."

Pavement Testimony 

That fine piece of oratory that can be delivered only by one who has had a pint.

The expression of one's drunkenness through the medium of regurgitation.
Luke: So how was Quinn's birthday? Did he get lashed?

Fred: Hell yeah, he REALLY had a pint - he'd given his Pavement Testimony by half ten!
Pavement Testimony by Lukenestler September 21, 2008
Kristine gave her testimony about how God has changed her life.
testimony by ThatSensation! February 13, 2008