Types of New Zealanders:
- Aucklanders
- Mongrel mobsters
- Islanders
- Bogans
- Deep Southerners
Aucklanders are trying to fit in with the rest of the world and assimilate with American culture by creating over-dramatised reality TV shoes and watching too many movies. In reality they are struggling to find their kiwi identity because they are so locked into their metropolitan lifestyle.
Mongrel mobsters are Maori folks who are pissed at the racial injustices of the past and lash out against the Pakeha imperialist regime through violent anarchy and civil disobedience. All mongrels are dangerous but not all are immoral. Some mobsters work a positive change in their communities by fucking up any dickheads who try to sell harmful
drugs to their whanaungatanga.
Islanders are other Polynesian folks who have immigrated to Aotearoa. Islanders are usually devout Christians who
love wearing their
church clothes and lava lavas, sipping kava and eating
pork roasts.
Bogans are rural nutcases who enjoy drinking beer, driving beat up Holdens, and listening to
Metallica. They typically have long mullets, few teeth and no shoes.
Deep Southerners are usually
white folks of Scottish descent who live in the
cold, isolated district of Otago and speak with a
thick accent, if they speak at all. Southerners are quite possibly the most hard case, tight lipped
people you will ever meet and
don't take shit from any pussy arse townies.
