Types of New Zealanders:

- Aucklanders
- Mongrel mobsters
- Islanders
- Bogans
- Deep Southerners

Aucklanders are trying to fit in with the rest of the world and assimilate with American culture by creating over-dramatised reality TV shoes and watching too many movies. In reality they are struggling to find their kiwi identity because they are so locked into their metropolitan lifestyle.

Mongrel mobsters are Maori folks who are pissed at the racial injustices of the past and lash out against the Pakeha imperialist regime through violent anarchy and civil disobedience. All mongrels are dangerous but not all are immoral. Some mobsters work a positive change in their communities by fucking up any dickheads who try to sell harmful drugs to their whanaungatanga.

Islanders are other Polynesian folks who have immigrated to Aotearoa. Islanders are usually devout Christians who love wearing their church clothes and lava lavas, sipping kava and eating pork roasts.

Bogans are rural nutcases who enjoy drinking beer, driving beat up Holdens, and listening to Metallica. They typically have long mullets, few teeth and no shoes.

Deep Southerners are usually white folks of Scottish descent who live in the cold, isolated district of Otago and speak with a thick accent, if they speak at all. Southerners are quite possibly the most hard case, tight lipped people you will ever meet and don't take shit from any pussy arse townies.
Don't sell P to New Zealanders or the mongrel mob will fuck you up.
by Seismic Refugee October 1, 2018
Get the New Zealanders mug.
dudes who walk around in bare foot or something
person 1: I saw some guys walking around in bare foot today. it was kinda weird lol
person 2: must be new zealanders
by orbein July 2, 2023
Get the New Zealanders mug.
A mystical island that coved by clouds so you can't really see it 50% of the time, the land of sheep, kiwi, orc, elf, dwarf, wizard, short men with hairy legs, and the māori people.
For some unknown reason, the people here really love their pie.
It's pretty ok nothing much happened here. Give it a visit if you want somewhere peaceful.
Man New Zealand is so beautiful I want to go there.
by little blue blob April 23, 2021
Get the New Zealand mug.
hey everyone leave new zealand alone, its a nice caring country that loves everyone. sure we may not be sophisticated or smart or diverse, but we make do with what we`ve got/. i myself am a plumber, my weekly pay packet is enough to feed my family of sheep and to buy a brush to keep the wool out of my eyes. i love new zealand. sometimes i stand on the west coast and cock my ear over towards them aussies to see if theyre talking about us lol but they never talk about us, i dont think theyre even aware that we exist. i love aussies. i wished i could hire a tug boat to tow new zealand across the tasman and join it onto the east coast of australia, then i`ll be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that i`m finally home. thankyou australia from the bottom of my heart.
please mrs helen clarke make new zealand an australian state.
by growingpains August 7, 2006
Get the new zealand mug.
A small country off the East Coast of Australia.
Aussie 1: Mate, wanna go to New Zealand with a couple other blokes?
Aussie 2: Where's that?
by sape September 17, 2006
Get the New Zealand mug.
(proper) noun.

A mythical place in the southern Pacific Ocean made of clouds, that was invented by Australians.

Legends that ascribe "New Zealand" to be the birthplace of a variety of Australian celebrities, including Ernest Rutherford, Edmund Hillary, Burt Munro, Russell Crowe, Keith Urban and Sonny Bill Williams, can be traced back to early social engineering attempts undertaken by radical left-wing political movements that are also responsible for a once widely circulated urban myth: that the British couldn't conquer "New Zealand" and so had to sign treaties with the original inhabitants.
Various popular musical bands also claim to be "from New Zealand", such as Crowded House, Fat Freddy's Drop and Flight of the Conchords, though this is usually not part of a crazy belief system, but a clever marketing ploy.
The famous poet and philosopher, Munter, sometimes describes his ancestry as originating in "New Zealand", though this is usually a reference to his earlier work where he disproved the theory of epiphenomenalism.

see also: New Zealander adjective derrog..
Rugby players that happen to be drunkards, sheep molesters and adults that have difficulty with shoes, as depicted in the Australian historical docu-drama "Footrot Flats", are also frequently referred to as New Zealanders.
High School Student (drunk): 'Wun ee grew oop, ee winna bi uhn Oozie, eh bro, ow'.

Teacher: 'Don't give up Jerome; you're nearly ready for crayons...baby steps...and please, just call me "Miss"; it will more than double your productivity rate'.

High School Student: 'Oo kah eh bro, noo woories ow bro, jest coz oo cull mi uh New Zealander, yis or stull oolright, yeh Oz- ut's chooiice izzzz, eh? Ow.'

Teacher: 'Any more talk of this, "New Zealand" nonsense, and I'll have you banned from Rugby'.

High School Student: 'Chooiice izzz broo'
by slotharisor July 28, 2010
Get the New Zealand mug.
a country with a beautiful countryside, and lots of cheap stuff to buy but of great quality. Unfortunately, much like the villages in the South-East of England. In other words, full of racist pricks. We hitch-hiked across the country and found two racist people for every nice person.
<woman who was the first person to talk to us when we got to new zealand>: you had better watch out of the brown people.
by RobMaaan November 25, 2005
Get the new zealand mug.