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tainted surface 

The act of rubbing another persons Microsoft Surface tablet on your taint and/or genitalia, usually as a retaliatory joke but sometimes for sexual pleasure. The tablet owners name is usually placed in the middle of the statement.
Man, I just tainted Sean's surface..... At first it was funny, but then it felt good and I couldn't stop myself. Tainted Surface

tainted love 

love you have for a person that is so deep and feels like it should last forever, but it can't for some complicated, unfair reason. So when you have only a certain amount time left with the person you love, you know that it is tainted love. because although you would risk your life for them and think of them all the time (even in your dreams), you can't be with them forever.

it is love, actually.
once i ran to you
now i run from you
this tainted love...
tainted love by i am a lover June 26, 2004

Jaeger-tainting

The act of pouring jaeger upon one's perineum (region between the anus and the external genitalia) in order to become intoxicated.
After a night of jaeger-tainting, Jimmy had a pounding hangover within his anus.
Jaeger-tainting by Zenpeanut June 30, 2010
a skin flap found between a woman's vagina & her asshole, namely, on her taint. gives the appearance of a tail, or a tiny penis...
taint + tail = taintle.
"Dude, i slept with this chick last weekend, and she had a wicked taintle! does that make me gay?"
taintle by LAWWWWLLL February 4, 2009

Taintenance 

noun \ tānt-nən(t)s, tān-tə-nən(t)s\

The act of grooming ones pubic area. This involves hair reduction or removal, cleaning and maintaining the genitals, taint and anal region.
“I might get lucky on my big date tonight. Perhaps I should do some taintenance.”
Taintenance by Gameguy123 June 22, 2011

taintention 

When one's taint receives sexual attention.
Last night this girl was licking my balls so much I got some accidental taintention.

Taintention is AWESOME.

Hey baby, anal sex is so passee. I need some taintention.

Hey baby, my balls and my asshole need some simul-taint-eous action.
taintention by Sean Bry July 25, 2007