A pattern of repeated manipulative, coercive, and abusive behaviours that progressively
undermine a partner’s autonomy, self-confidence, and safety.
Rapid attachment & love-bombing: Intense attention, flattery and promises early on that create dependence.
Control : Persistent attempts to dictate who the partner sees, where they go, how they spend money or time.
Gaslighting
Jealousy and surveillance: Accusations of disloyalty, checking messages, showing up uninvited, or demanding constant updates.
Verbal and
emotional abuse: Name-calling, humiliation in private or public, threats, or withholding affection as punishment.
Coercive control: Using threats, financial pressure, or manipulation to force compliance.
Cycle of escalation and reconciliation: Alternating abusive incidents with apologies, gifts, or promises to change that make it hard to leave.
Blame and
accountability avoidance: Always shifting
responsibility to the partner or external circumstances.
Boundary violations around consent: Pressuring for sexual activity, disregarding “no,” or dismissing consent concerns.
Common red flags (quick checklist):
Fast-moving
relationship with pressure to commit.
Frequent “tests” of loyalty (jealousy, demands for passwords).
Dismissal of your feelings, calling you “overly emotional.”
Efforts to cut off or control friends/family.
Repeated lying
Financial manipulation
Threats (explicit or implied) about what will happen if you leave.
DO NOT DATE A STEVENSON
