Spreadshine

To share food with fellow immates in jail. To invite a friend to eat from your spread.

Can can I get some spreadshine homie?

simon O.G..

by mellly mel February 15, 2010

spreadsheet tycoon

An entrepreneur who falsely believes, based on his own naive financial projections, that he will get rich.

Did you see Bob's stupid new business plan? The guy is a spreadsheet tycoon.

by Ho Sun Yan October 9, 2008

spreadshit

An Excel spreadsheet with no redeeming value, it's purpose was to provide data but all it creates is confusion and frustration.

Bill: Do you have the forecasts for next week's production?
Ted: No, the data Rufus sent is horrible. All of it was on one ridiculous spreadshit. I asked him if he knew what a column was. He said he just finished reading one in the newspaper.
Bill: I can't believe he still works here.
Ted: The worst part is I have 400 rows worth of data in one merged cell. I don't even know how he managed that.

by Rooks January 24, 2008

spreadshitting

Producing large amount of spreadsheets at a rapid pace, sometimes for dubious reasons or uncertain motives.

I spent all of last week spreadshitting for High Management's fucking KPIs.

by LexMajor1 May 6, 2020

Spreadsheet Monkey

Someone who gets roped into doing extensive data analysis - usually on behalf of a superior who isn't smart enough to do the work himself.

I was supposed to go to the convention but I got roped into being a spreadsheet monkey instead

by Chigger23 August 11, 2008

Spreadsheet

A sheet, towel or other linen laid out over existing bed linens or over carpeting for the purpose of have sex and to protect the underlying fabrics from sexual fluid stains.

Maggie refused to have sex and risk squirting all over her Sferra Milos Sheet Set so she made her husband go to Walmart to by a spreadsheet.

by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2016

Management by Spreadsheet

An micromanagement technique whereby the micromanager generates an infinite stream of spreadsheets, mostly containing a hodgepodge of data, each purported to document and store a specific part of an employee's work output.

The employee is required to fill out blanks in the spreadsheet instead of remaining engaged in useful work.

The intent of the micromanager is to to attain control over all knowledge, gaining a sense of omnipotence. The inevitable end result is that spreadsheet maintenance becomes the only work performed.

Today I'm filling out one of his spreadsheets documenting my hourly work output. I'm really getting tired of Management by Spreadsheet.

by Dr. Specific September 22, 2009