While dating a girl - particularly in the first awkward weeks - speedshitting refers to the act of taking a very fast shit in her appartment's/dowm room's bathroom, as to induce her to thing you were only - harmlessly - urinating.
Girl: "We spend a lot of time together...but I noticed...err"
Boy: "Yes?"
Girl "You...never seem to do a numer two!!"
Boy "Well...I was speedshitting"
When your partner keeps overly meticulous track of expenditure in the relationship pertaining to what you "owe" them, to the detriment of your physical relationship.
He was spreadsheeting every condom he bought and used with me. I had to pay him at the end of the month.
A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.