To offer to pay someone for sex
Hym "Say... Did I ever tell you guys about the time some weird old guy solicited me for
prostitution? No!? Alright, so, you guys remember how my car broke down and I was completely out of money? Well, shortly after I was hired at my current job, I was walking to this gas station that's like 5 miles away from my apartment because I wanted to get some edibles, right? And on the walk back from the gas station it started raining. So, I'm walking on the sidewalk and the car pulls up next to me and the guy driving offers me a ride and AS I GET IN he's like 'You looked too good to pass up' and in my head I'm like 'Nigga, WHAT!? That's a little weird. Maybe he's just a little weird.' So I get in and he's giving me the 3rd degree and he's like 'So why are you walking out in the rain?' And I'm like 'Yeah, you know, my car broke down. Just started a new job. Haven't made enough money to replace it.' And this fucking guys says to me 'Well, if you need money you could give me a message' and I'm like 'Nah, that's not going to happen.' And THIS
MOTHERFUCKER'S response is 'Well, I'D be the one giving YOU
the message.' Clearly insinuating, like, a prostate message. As if THAT (who would be pitching and who would be catching) would have been
difference. THAT was
supposed to tip the scales back in his favor. 'And I'm like, yeah, no. I don't fucking need the money that bad.'
And let me tell you that was not a very
comfortable car ride from that point on. So, I kind of gave him the side eye for the rest of the trip. Watching him out of the corner of my eye and I thought to myself 'If this
motherfucker tries to pull a gun I am going to grab that shit before he can finish drawing it and I am going to ABSOLUTELY CRACK HIS ASS... Then I'm going to rob him... I'm going to take his wallet... And I'm GOING to keep the gun... And I'm going to steal his car and drive myself close to my apartment... Because who is he gonna tell... Yeah... This is a good plan.' But that didn't happen. And he dropped me off at the place where I work and I'm like 'Thanks' and he looked pretty let down if I'm being completely honest with you. And I'm like 'Aw, that's kid of sad...' And then I went home a got high and played video-games. But yeah... I mean, I get it.
Look at me. I'm pretty sexy. He said he circled the block after passing me
the first time. So, yeah, that was the time I got solicited for sex. That shit was nuts."
