To offer to pay someone for sex
Hym "Say... Did I ever tell you guys about the time some
weird old
guy solicited me for prostitution? No!? Alright, so, you guys remember how my car broke down and I was completely out of money? Well, shortly after I was hired at my current job, I was walking to this gas station that'
s like 5 miles away from my apartment because I wanted to get some edibles, right? And on the walk back from the gas station it started raining. So, I'm walking on the sidewalk and the car pulls up next to me and the
guy driving offers me a ride and AS I GET IN he'
s like 'You looked too good to pass up' and in my head I'm like '
Nigga, WHAT!? That's a little
weird. Maybe he'
s just a little
weird.' So I get in and he'
s giving me the 3rd degree and he'
s like 'So why are you walking out in the rain?' And I'm like 'Yeah, you know, my car broke down. Just started a new job. Haven't made enough money to replace it.' And this fucking guys says to me 'Well, if you need money you could give me a message' and I'm like 'Nah, that'
s not going to happen.' And THIS MOTHERFUCKER'
S response is 'Well, I'D be the
one giving YOU the message.' Clearly insinuating, like, a prostate message. As if THAT (who would be pitching and who would be catching) would have been difference. THAT was supposed to tip the scales back in his favor. 'And I'm like, yeah, no. I
don't fucking need the money that bad.'
And let me tell you that was not a very comfortable car ride from that point on. So, I kind of gave him the side eye for the rest of the trip. Watching him out of the corner of my eye and I thought to myself 'If this motherfucker tries to pull a gun I am going to grab that
shit before he can finish drawing it and I am going to ABSOLUTELY CRACK HIS
ASS... Then I'm going to rob him... I'm going to take his wallet... And I'm GOING to keep the gun... And I'm going to steal his car and drive myself close to my apartment... Because who is he gonna tell... Yeah... This is a good plan.' But that didn't happen. And he dropped me off at the place where I
work and I'm like 'Thanks' and he looked
pretty let down if I'm being completely honest with you. And I'm like 'Aw, that'
s kid of
sad...' And then I went home a got high and played video-games. But yeah... I mean, I get it. Look at me. I'm
pretty sexy. He said he circled the block after passing me the first time. So, yeah, that was the time I got solicited for sex. That
shit was nuts."
