1. First and firstly of all, Schputz is a sexual object used in the cleaning of infected bowels and deep throat exploration.

2. Secondly and secondly of the first one, a Schputz is an unborn fetus used in some delicacy recipes in combination with mashed brusture and scurmuse de broasca juices

3. Thirdly, and most important, a Schputz is The One, chosen messiah of the Gods sent to Neptune in the ectoplasmic carcass of a Codrin, also known as The King of All Merry Codrins. It has irrefutable magical power juices which he uses to lubricate various holes for the purpose of fornication. He does not live in one tree, he lives in all and protects them from vile Canadian lumberjacks.
1.
Joshua: Could you please help me use this Schputz? I have puss in my bowels.
Shawna: Yes, it will be an honor.

2.
Joshua: Excuse me sir, my Schputz is still blinking.
Waiter: I'm terribly sorry, honorable mister. Your meal will be gratis.

3. I tired to cut a tree once and the mighty Schputz raped my beer, after a Codrin jerked off in it. I am sad.
by Afrodisiac Semasturbea March 30, 2007
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What you do in a sauna when you're mother has been mispronouncing schvizt your whole life
Hi mom, today we schputzed in a sauna after a cool lake swim.
by Hbdevo June 5, 2022
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