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1) A man of missfortune.
2) A torso man
3) To work ones mobile both effortlessly and with zaaz
4) Cannot swim
5) Interchangeable with use of lyrics i.e. "Tonight's not gonna be Schleaffe's night"
6) To undergo a stage by stage metamorphis throughout a night. a) Hyped b) Horny c) Sleepy d) Rage
Look. The Scheaffe is asleep. Lets cap him.

Some say I am The Schleaffe.

Blame it on The Schleaffe

Is The Schleaffe coming?
Schleaffe by OldDoobs September 8, 2010
Urban Dictionary Merch

schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant 

An ad done by a New Zealand guy who keeps talking about his deck but it sounds like he’s saying dick
“Hey, get that squirrel off my dick! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my dick!” Quote Schaeffer’s New Zealand Deck Sealant guy

Akiva Schaffer 

A member of The Lonely Island, a comedy troupe that currently works on Saturday Night Live, Akiva Schaffer writes Saturday Night Live's Digital Shorts along with Jorma Taccone. They usually have third Lonely Island member Andy Samberg as the star. Akiva Schaffer directed The Lonely Island's film: Hot Rod, and has driected a number of music videos for We Are Scientists and Eagles of Death Metal, and more, as well as SNL's digital shorts. Akiva seems to be the least known and recognized member of The Lonely Island, though he has many fans and admirers. He is also called Kiv.
Ryan:"Hey did you know Akiva Schaffer directed that one We Are Scientists music video?"

Steven: "You mean Kiv from The Lonely Island?"

Ryan:"Yeah!"

Steven:"Wow that's awesome!"

Chloe: "Kiv is so dreamy."

ashley schaeffer 

This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.

It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.

Schleifenschlampe 

A person who ties somebody else’s shoe.

Eine Person welche anderen die Schuhe bindet.
The new girl in our class is such a schleifenschlampe, she really ties everyone’s shoes for a fiver.

Das neue Mädchen in unserer Klasse ist so eine schleifenschlampe, für ein Fünfer bindet sie von jedem die Schuhe.

Jon Schaffer 

Jon Schaffer is a heavy metal guitarist and songwriter. He is the founder and only remaining original member of the heavy metal band Iced Earth. His most distinctive element of playing is his stuttering right-hand gallop which sounds like a tremendously sped up version of the 'eighth-note, two-sixteenth-notes' gallop made famous by Iron Maiden's bass player/songwriter Steve Harris. That sound cannot be
imitated by any other guitar player. When you hear Jon Schaffer, you think Iced Earth. Because Jon Schaffer IS Iced Earth.
Jon Schaffer is the guitarist for Iced Earth.
Jon Schaffer by Mike L. Richard February 9, 2008

Schleiff 

The pinnacle of coolness and perfection combined, the only way to describe something that is both swarve sophisticated and just right
Your looking schleiff, jks no one is schleiff except mills
Schleiff by Edjdge October 3, 2011
More from Urban Dictionary
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007
Word of the Day on September 24, 2026
A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026
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