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schluffer 

a lazy, unmotivated person.
Someone who takes the easy way out of everything.
a pointless, directionless, good for nothing.
Anna skipped out on biking again today. What a schluffer.
schluffer by Mike Early May 19, 2006

schluffer 

a lazy, unmotivated person.
Someone who takes the easy way out of everything.
a pointless, directionless, good for nothing.
Anna skipped out on biking again today for no apparent reason. What a schluffer.
schluffer by Mike Early May 12, 2006

schluffer 

A lazy bastard ROLL-OFF driver, who consistantly passes their work off to more productive drivers because they are nothing but lazy fucks!
Barry, do your own work you lazy fuckin` schluffer
schluffer by roll-off #2 December 9, 2008

schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant 

An ad done by a New Zealand guy who keeps talking about his deck but it sounds like he’s saying dick
“Hey, get that squirrel off my dick! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my dick!” Quote Schaeffer’s New Zealand Deck Sealant guy

Akiva Schaffer 

A member of The Lonely Island, a comedy troupe that currently works on Saturday Night Live, Akiva Schaffer writes Saturday Night Live's Digital Shorts along with Jorma Taccone. They usually have third Lonely Island member Andy Samberg as the star. Akiva Schaffer directed The Lonely Island's film: Hot Rod, and has driected a number of music videos for We Are Scientists and Eagles of Death Metal, and more, as well as SNL's digital shorts. Akiva seems to be the least known and recognized member of The Lonely Island, though he has many fans and admirers. He is also called Kiv.
Ryan:"Hey did you know Akiva Schaffer directed that one We Are Scientists music video?"

Steven: "You mean Kiv from The Lonely Island?"

Ryan:"Yeah!"

Steven:"Wow that's awesome!"

Chloe: "Kiv is so dreamy."

ashley schaeffer 

This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.

It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.