Schizophonenia 

An affliction that occurs when one is put in a position without their phone for over 24 hours...

Symptoms include:
1) Inability to think about anything at all except the fact you do not have your phone.
2) Profound loss of control
3) Social Disconnect and isolation

4) Feeling as if you have lost a part of yourself
5) Agitation at everything

Dude "My school sent us on a weekend retreat for our final and no phones were allowed"
Dude 2 " I cant be without my phone that long or i'll end up all fucked up with "Schizophonenia"
Dude " Yeah never again ...I almost lost it"

Schizophonenia by Stains and Smears March 4, 2019

Schizophrenia 

G ̘̣̻͔̳̱̱̩̜̰͙̘̥̬́͊̈́̈́̆̆̔͘̕ͅĒ̵̛̛͇̫̣̮̣̰͔͕̰͔̠̠̈͆̂̅̇͐̌͒͊͛̽̐́̈́̇̆̏̚͜͝T ̞̪̗͖͚̰̬̼̻̺̫͇͉̭̘̲̀̂̒̀̾̚ ̧̧̡̳̤̳̳̖̳̝̯͇̳͖̝̠̳̯̉̈͛̈̈́͊̔̅̒̿͘͠Ȏ̶̧̨̞̣̞̠̖̼̭̲̯̮̙̗͚̜͙̹̺̭͉̈́̒͋̎̋̊̄̉̇͗̀̊̈̐̀̀͗͑̔͆͐̀͊͂̕U̵̢̧̨̻̙̮͚̼̥̣͚̲̣̞̜͗̍̓̋̿͊͒͋͒̉̌̊̉̀͆̎̉̿͘̕͜͝ͅͅT̴̡̧͓̪͚͈̘̣͈̲̪̘͎̙̳͚̲͕͎̼̓̉̓̈́́͂̾̓̿̒͑͒̕͜ ̡̧̢̳̫̝̟̟͚̦̼̳̬̳̼̙͖̮͓͕̼̜̩̥̱͙̓́̓́̃̈̈͐̒͐̕͜O ̠͖͈͍͙͇̙͓̞̯͔̲̞̼͖̩̹̣͕̠̟̅͊̿ͅF ̣̰̯̻͈͙̺͓͍͕̠̭̗̥̦̤̻̺͖͎̂̏́̊̍̾̒̈́̄͆́̿ ̴̩͛̀́̓͌́̉̂̑̀͋̄̚ͅM ̨̙͈̥̪̋̐́̉̋̍̊̽͘Y ̨̛͙̦̞̙̤͕̙͈̤̝̤͈̱̭̟͇̞̝̜̤̲̙͔̥͕͉͒̂̒͋̈́̅̃̏̕͘ͅ ̶̡̨̢̨͚͔͉̘̭̭̖͔͕̬͓̦̜̪̘̣̺͉̖͈̮̦̌̀̄͐͐͜͜H ̧̧̛̳̖͕̰͓̞̩̤̫̣͐̉́̏͒͒͌͂̍̏E ̨̤̭̯̟̙̜̭͖̹̹͕̱̣͌̓̽͠A ̢͇̍͒̽͛̎̍͆͗̄̾͗̇̅̐̅̀̑̓̎͋̎̊͝D ̢̧̨͓͚͍̤̃̅

Person 1: Hello! Do you have Schizophrenia?
Person 2: G ̘̣̻͔̳̱̱̩̜̰͙̘̥̬́͊̈́̈́̆̆̔͘̕ͅĒ̵̛̛͇̫̣̮̣̰͔͕̰͔̠̠̈͆̂̅̇͐̌͒͊͛̽̐́̈́̇̆̏̚͜͝T ̞̪̗͖͚̰̬̼̻̺̫͇͉̭̘̲̀̂̒̀̾̚ ̧̧̡̳̤̳̳̖̳̝̯͇̳͖̝̠̳̯̉̈͛̈̈́͊̔̅̒̿͘͠Ȏ̶̧̨̞̣̞̠̖̼̭̲̯̮̙̗͚̜͙̹̺̭͉̈́̒͋̎̋̊̄̉̇͗̀̊̈̐̀̀͗͑̔͆͐̀͊͂̕U̵̢̧̨̻̙̮͚̼̥̣͚̲̣̞̜͗̍̓̋̿͊͒͋͒̉̌̊̉̀͆̎̉̿͘̕͜͝ͅͅT̴̡̧͓̪͚͈̘̣͈̲̪̘͎̙̳͚̲͕͎̼̓̉̓̈́́͂̾̓̿̒͑͒̕͜ ̡̧̢̳̫̝̟̟͚̦̼̳̬̳̼̙͖̮͓͕̼̜̩̥̱͙̓́̓́̃̈̈͐̒͐̕͜O ̠͖͈͍͙͇̙͓̞̯͔̲̞̼͖̩̹̣͕̠̟̅͊̿ͅF ̣̰̯̻͈͙̺͓͍͕̠̭̗̥̦̤̻̺͖͎̂̏́̊̍̾̒̈́̄͆́̿ ̴̩͛̀́̓͌́̉̂̑̀͋̄̚ͅM ̨̙͈̥̪̋̐́̉̋̍̊̽͘Y ̨̛͙̦̞̙̤͕̙͈̤̝̤͈̱̭̟͇̞̝̜̤̲̙͔̥͕͉͒̂̒͋̈́̅̃̏̕͘ͅ ̶̡̨̢̨͚͔͉̘̭̭̖͔͕̬͓̦̜̪̘̣̺͉̖͈̮̦̌̀̄͐͐͜͜H ̧̧̛̳̖͕̰͓̞̩̤̫̣͐̉́̏͒͒͌͂̍̏E ̨̤̭̯̟̙̜̭͖̹̹͕̱̣͌̓̽͠A ̢͇̍͒̽͛̎̍͆͗̄̾͗̇̅̐̅̀̑̓̎͋̎̊͝D ̢̧̨͓͚͍̤̃̅

Schizophrenia by Thetruemonke69420 May 17, 2022

Forum Schizophrenia  

for·um schizo·phre·nia, n.

An internet disorder caused by an individual who reads a significantly higher number of blog, forum or comment posts by many unique individuals, to the point of hearing voices in his head that do not correspond to his perceived train of thought.

The pathology behind this disorder is believed to reside behind the individuals 'mental voice' - the voice that speaks the words in an individual's mind as he reads - and the lack of a consistent train of thought due to the brevity and uniqueness of blog, forum and comment posts

i.e. each post has a different writing style, tone, train of thought, point of view, that continuing to read these posts, without a rest period to center one's thoughts, can lead to a lack of sense of self, and beginning to hear one's mental voice speak and think in ways that are foreign to the individual

The reason it is specifically an internet disorder, and not common schizophrenia, is probably due to the style of internet writing. i.e. if a person were to read a book, or magazine article, it's length and sense of closure at the end of the article allows an individual to regain their own train of thought.

Can be commonly found to coincide with Google Amnesia, and Hyperlink ADD

1. First! I'm starting to get confused here; I can't think straight... liek readin' all these fukin' posts from these n00bs is teh gay. Bah! I'm just being a brain fanboy. That urban dictionary post was totally photoshopped. Leik you know, asshat! Wat r u, some 13yo posn llik you're an adult??!? Why do they let these kids in my brain? Linkin Park is my <3<3<3!!!!!111!1!

...OMG I think I'm suffering from Forum Schizophrenia

Forum Schizophrenia by Echo Pryce January 1, 2008

Government Schizophrenia

Government Schizophrenia is caused when a government enforces and supports two completely different policies that are blatantly contradictory.

The United States has "Government Schizophrenia" when it comes to it's policies regarding cannabis prohibition. According to the government's Controlled Substances Act, cannabis has no medicinal value, and is deemed a schedule 1 narcotic. While on the other hand the government patents it's cannabinoids from cannabis, claiming they have medicinal value.

Government Schizophrenia by Killer Bud August 14, 2012

twitter schizophrenia 

A new as yet undiagnosed mental health condition in which people look at their twitter trends and automatically assume that everything they see is the absolute g-d given truth

How to deal with your Twitter schizophrenia? Step 1) understand and learn the definition of infodemic. Step 2) understand that you may have a genetic predisposition to being negatively influenced by mass media step 3) do not ever call the shrink step 4 get off twitter, possibly for good.

twitter schizophrenia by Uncle Dimma June 9, 2021

schizophrenia 

a serious mental illness. a valid point. however, it is becoming clear that some instances of schizophrenia can be explained as the perfectly natural response of a sensitive, open-minded, deep-thinking, intelligent human being to being surrounded by braindead idiots in a society that wants you to be a braindead idiot, and punishes you for thinking for yourself.

Doctor: So, Louise, we believe you're suffering from schizophrenia. Tell us more about these delusions. Tell us why you believe you shouldn't have to wake up early every day to go somewhere you don't want to go, just so you can do something you don't want to do and don't even care about when you actually get there.

Liam: Because this is the only life I get you fuckin stupid little cunt.

schizophrenia by lsd-25 May 30, 2013

Schizophrenia 

Condition commonly mistaken for MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). Schizophrenia like the name suggests means a split, but not a split in personality. Schizophrenia is a split in perception that causes an individual to become detached, isolated and remote from reality and from the rest of society. A person experiencing schizophrenia might see things in a way that he can only understand. He might also experience hallucinations such as hearing voices and seeing things, paranoia, feelings and thoughts of persecution and feeling like he is in another world.

I'm borderline schizophrenic.

Schizophrenia by Gary Destruction July 19, 2003