schizophonia 

Schizophonia is the use of a cell phone in such a manner that mimics psychotic hallucinatory behavior.

A person with schizophonia might use a concealed bluetooth earphone to chat with an unseen partner in a crowded elevator while maintaining a fixed, vacant stare.

schizophonia by Stan Cohen January 9, 2008

Schizophonia 

When you think you feel your phone vibrate in you pocket, and you pull it out only to find that nobody tried to contact you

John thought he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. When he pulled it out there were no new messages, or calls. He must be suffering from Schizophonia.

Schizophonia by Galen Knode January 17, 2009

schizophonia 

Having schizophrenia but to cover it up you have a blue-tooth headset in, so it looks like you are talking to someone but you're really talking to yourself.

Schizophrenic Bob is standing in an elevator and he screams, "Who do you think you are?!" Everyone around him looks at him, but they don't think anything of it because he has schizophonia.

schizophonia by Toast Ogden December 16, 2008

Schizophonia 

When after several months of the same ringtune, it becomes so familliar, you can hear it so vividly to the point where you answer your phone only to realize your phone didn't actually ring

Darryl - Hold on my phone is ringing
Ciaran - I don't hear anything
Darryl - No seriously where is my phone someone is trying to reach me
Ciaran - Dude you are suffering from schizophonia
Darryl - YEs...brb someone is phoning me again

Schizophonia by Jackywackywinky July 2, 2009

Schizophrenia 

G ̘̣̻͔̳̱̱̩̜̰͙̘̥̬́͊̈́̈́̆̆̔͘̕ͅĒ̵̛̛͇̫̣̮̣̰͔͕̰͔̠̠̈͆̂̅̇͐̌͒͊͛̽̐́̈́̇̆̏̚͜͝T ̞̪̗͖͚̰̬̼̻̺̫͇͉̭̘̲̀̂̒̀̾̚ ̧̧̡̳̤̳̳̖̳̝̯͇̳͖̝̠̳̯̉̈͛̈̈́͊̔̅̒̿͘͠Ȏ̶̧̨̞̣̞̠̖̼̭̲̯̮̙̗͚̜͙̹̺̭͉̈́̒͋̎̋̊̄̉̇͗̀̊̈̐̀̀͗͑̔͆͐̀͊͂̕U̵̢̧̨̻̙̮͚̼̥̣͚̲̣̞̜͗̍̓̋̿͊͒͋͒̉̌̊̉̀͆̎̉̿͘̕͜͝ͅͅT̴̡̧͓̪͚͈̘̣͈̲̪̘͎̙̳͚̲͕͎̼̓̉̓̈́́͂̾̓̿̒͑͒̕͜ ̡̧̢̳̫̝̟̟͚̦̼̳̬̳̼̙͖̮͓͕̼̜̩̥̱͙̓́̓́̃̈̈͐̒͐̕͜O ̠͖͈͍͙͇̙͓̞̯͔̲̞̼͖̩̹̣͕̠̟̅͊̿ͅF ̣̰̯̻͈͙̺͓͍͕̠̭̗̥̦̤̻̺͖͎̂̏́̊̍̾̒̈́̄͆́̿ ̴̩͛̀́̓͌́̉̂̑̀͋̄̚ͅM ̨̙͈̥̪̋̐́̉̋̍̊̽͘Y ̨̛͙̦̞̙̤͕̙͈̤̝̤͈̱̭̟͇̞̝̜̤̲̙͔̥͕͉͒̂̒͋̈́̅̃̏̕͘ͅ ̶̡̨̢̨͚͔͉̘̭̭̖͔͕̬͓̦̜̪̘̣̺͉̖͈̮̦̌̀̄͐͐͜͜H ̧̧̛̳̖͕̰͓̞̩̤̫̣͐̉́̏͒͒͌͂̍̏E ̨̤̭̯̟̙̜̭͖̹̹͕̱̣͌̓̽͠A ̢͇̍͒̽͛̎̍͆͗̄̾͗̇̅̐̅̀̑̓̎͋̎̊͝D ̢̧̨͓͚͍̤̃̅

Person 1: Hello! Do you have Schizophrenia?
Person 2: G ̘̣̻͔̳̱̱̩̜̰͙̘̥̬́͊̈́̈́̆̆̔͘̕ͅĒ̵̛̛͇̫̣̮̣̰͔͕̰͔̠̠̈͆̂̅̇͐̌͒͊͛̽̐́̈́̇̆̏̚͜͝T ̞̪̗͖͚̰̬̼̻̺̫͇͉̭̘̲̀̂̒̀̾̚ ̧̧̡̳̤̳̳̖̳̝̯͇̳͖̝̠̳̯̉̈͛̈̈́͊̔̅̒̿͘͠Ȏ̶̧̨̞̣̞̠̖̼̭̲̯̮̙̗͚̜͙̹̺̭͉̈́̒͋̎̋̊̄̉̇͗̀̊̈̐̀̀͗͑̔͆͐̀͊͂̕U̵̢̧̨̻̙̮͚̼̥̣͚̲̣̞̜͗̍̓̋̿͊͒͋͒̉̌̊̉̀͆̎̉̿͘̕͜͝ͅͅT̴̡̧͓̪͚͈̘̣͈̲̪̘͎̙̳͚̲͕͎̼̓̉̓̈́́͂̾̓̿̒͑͒̕͜ ̡̧̢̳̫̝̟̟͚̦̼̳̬̳̼̙͖̮͓͕̼̜̩̥̱͙̓́̓́̃̈̈͐̒͐̕͜O ̠͖͈͍͙͇̙͓̞̯͔̲̞̼͖̩̹̣͕̠̟̅͊̿ͅF ̣̰̯̻͈͙̺͓͍͕̠̭̗̥̦̤̻̺͖͎̂̏́̊̍̾̒̈́̄͆́̿ ̴̩͛̀́̓͌́̉̂̑̀͋̄̚ͅM ̨̙͈̥̪̋̐́̉̋̍̊̽͘Y ̨̛͙̦̞̙̤͕̙͈̤̝̤͈̱̭̟͇̞̝̜̤̲̙͔̥͕͉͒̂̒͋̈́̅̃̏̕͘ͅ ̶̡̨̢̨͚͔͉̘̭̭̖͔͕̬͓̦̜̪̘̣̺͉̖͈̮̦̌̀̄͐͐͜͜H ̧̧̛̳̖͕̰͓̞̩̤̫̣͐̉́̏͒͒͌͂̍̏E ̨̤̭̯̟̙̜̭͖̹̹͕̱̣͌̓̽͠A ̢͇̍͒̽͛̎̍͆͗̄̾͗̇̅̐̅̀̑̓̎͋̎̊͝D ̢̧̨͓͚͍̤̃̅

Schizophrenia by Thetruemonke69420 May 17, 2022

Forum Schizophrenia  

for·um schizo·phre·nia, n.

An internet disorder caused by an individual who reads a significantly higher number of blog, forum or comment posts by many unique individuals, to the point of hearing voices in his head that do not correspond to his perceived train of thought.

The pathology behind this disorder is believed to reside behind the individuals 'mental voice' - the voice that speaks the words in an individual's mind as he reads - and the lack of a consistent train of thought due to the brevity and uniqueness of blog, forum and comment posts

i.e. each post has a different writing style, tone, train of thought, point of view, that continuing to read these posts, without a rest period to center one's thoughts, can lead to a lack of sense of self, and beginning to hear one's mental voice speak and think in ways that are foreign to the individual

The reason it is specifically an internet disorder, and not common schizophrenia, is probably due to the style of internet writing. i.e. if a person were to read a book, or magazine article, it's length and sense of closure at the end of the article allows an individual to regain their own train of thought.

Can be commonly found to coincide with Google Amnesia, and Hyperlink ADD

1. First! I'm starting to get confused here; I can't think straight... liek readin' all these fukin' posts from these n00bs is teh gay. Bah! I'm just being a brain fanboy. That urban dictionary post was totally photoshopped. Leik you know, asshat! Wat r u, some 13yo posn llik you're an adult??!? Why do they let these kids in my brain? Linkin Park is my <3<3<3!!!!!111!1!

...OMG I think I'm suffering from Forum Schizophrenia

Forum Schizophrenia by Echo Pryce January 1, 2008

Government Schizophrenia

Government Schizophrenia is caused when a government enforces and supports two completely different policies that are blatantly contradictory.

The United States has "Government Schizophrenia" when it comes to it's policies regarding cannabis prohibition. According to the government's Controlled Substances Act, cannabis has no medicinal value, and is deemed a schedule 1 narcotic. While on the other hand the government patents it's cannabinoids from cannabis, claiming they have medicinal value.

Government Schizophrenia by Killer Bud August 14, 2012