Pastortion

The act of extorting money or material gifts from individuals by a pastor or religious leader under the pretense of offering spiritual help, blessings, or divine intervention.

He only wanted prayers for his sick mother, but what he got was pure pastortion—forced to pay before the pastor would even speak to him

by KingEssel July 7, 2025

Pastorbation

Pas-tor-ba-tion (noun)

The act of self-satisfaction while under the supervision / assistance of one's religious leader or pastor

OR

The execution of sexual acts performed on or by one's religious leader

It is a shame.... those altar boys were victims of pastorbation.

by Ronan XVII November 10, 2008

pastorbation

Masturbation by a priest while hearing an especially steamy confession.

From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

Pastorbation

Pas-tor-ba-tion (noun)

The act of self-satisfaction while under the supervision / assistance of one's religious leader or pastor

OR

The execution of sexual acts performed on or by one's religious leader

It is a shame.... those altar boys were victims of pastorbation.

by Ronan XVII November 10, 2008

Ellen Pastorino

A mean, openly feminist psychology professor at the Osceola Valencia campus in FL. She puts femofascist propaganda in her exams and will sometimes take over another professor's class and completely change what is in the final at the last minute , screwing the students. She also often claims that 25% of all women in the US have, or will be raped.

Ellen Pastorino: 25 % of all females in America are raped.

Student: that statistic is impossible.

by codpiece thief September 5, 2009

postortion

Typical languange based on fictitious events and outright distortion of reality used by the New York Post.

1-visit nypost.com for your lastest postortion,
2-John Pohrodez and Daniel Pipes have postorted 37 years of history...

by One Leader, Great Leader November 18, 2004

Pastorbation

This occurs when an ordained pastor masturbates.

The pastor chose to pull out her Hitachi Magic Wand and polish her pearl. She just hoped no one would be the wiser about her midday Pastorbation session.

by mck73 February 12, 2014