Oputi 

He drop puns that’ll get you snort with laughter without even trying, a dad joke connoisseur. Hands down the most alluring man in the outmost ways.

Has a very kissable dimple—one you can’t simply resist!

Naya: “put katanya mau beli french fries”
Oputi: “ye orang french bulldog”

Oputi by jangan sok tahu lah June 25, 2022

Teeth Optional 

When you are about to receive a hummer from a woman with dentures. Remove both plates for the traditional Gummer or keep either the Upper or Lower plate in.

Roberta was very upfront about her dentures. Davey really wanted a gobbly. This was a no brainer because of her Teeth Optional honesty.

Teeth Optional by will bitten September 20, 2017

optimistuck 

1. adj. To be perpetually happy all of the time about everything, always.

Being optimistuck gives me the creeps. No one can be that happy about everything. It's unnatural.

optimistuck by picc285 May 9, 2019

The Calendar Option 

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.

Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame

The Calendar Option by Darren Besert January 21, 2016

coron-optimistic

When someone thinks they have already been exposed to Covid-19, and thus have antibodies for it, because they had one or more symptoms of the disease between January and March 2020.

Todd: “I think I may have had it already. Back in January, I was really sick for like a week after hanging out with that girl that had just gotten back from Seattle.”

Me: “Yeah, then you probably HAVE had it already. Either that or you are just being a little Coron-optimistic.”

coron-optimistic by Oilcan99 April 27, 2020

optical intelligence

Some bullshit Elon Musk made up to justify his crappy driver-assistance system.

"Did you see Elon's tweet that used 'optical intelligence' in order to sound pseudo-smart? LMAO."

optical intelligence by LoveMyTeslaBut March 13, 2021

Opti 

A smaller bathtub sized sailboat that holds up to 110 pounds. Goes into water and almost immediately tips over. Sailed by the coolest of cool kids ages 8-12 or as they demand “preteens”. The optimist sailboat does not only flip over easily, but the kid sailing it tends to flip over other kids optimist (with the kid in it) or more preferably fill it with water from ones bailer. Opti kids are often paired with the Laser Sailboats or even a 420 (it’s a boat not pot) during “for fun races”. The optimist consists of normally three airbags for all the capsizing and a large population of “pincher bugs”.

Oh yeah, those are opti kids that’s why ones covered in sand and the others drowning.

Opti by elongatedpoptart December 7, 2019