Do you have symptoms of no energy? Do you think your mitochondria - your body’s mini power plants - became sick, quit working and went on an extended vacation? Is so, you may be experiencing mitopause.
Has your body been incapable of work for 6 months or more? Were you previously a healthy, normal person who overnight could no longer get out of bed? Do you feel you have an energy level of zero or less? Does doctor Google say you have CFS/ME while your primary care doc says to you, “Your bloodwork shows nothing wrong. The good news is, this condition is not fatal. The bad news is, this condition is not fatal.” Is NIH funding for your life altering illness less than the money earmarked to study male pattern baldness?
Guess what? You have entered mitopause.
Has your body been incapable of work for 6 months or more? Were you previously a healthy, normal person who overnight could no longer get out of bed? Do you feel you have an energy level of zero or less? Does doctor Google say you have CFS/ME while your primary care doc says to you, “Your bloodwork shows nothing wrong. The good news is, this condition is not fatal. The bad news is, this condition is not fatal.” Is NIH funding for your life altering illness less than the money earmarked to study male pattern baldness?
Guess what? You have entered mitopause.
by DrSpoonie April 19, 2019
Get the Mitopause mug.A time when a man's chemical balance becomes shifted and he has a breakdown and/or becomes an asshole. Symptoms include- Irritability, mood swings, thoughts of suicide, depression, over sensitivity, paranoia, and feelings of helplessness.
When Mike turned 50, his manopause kicked in and he bought a Corvette and then drove it off a cliff.
by Woodbilly May 14, 2011
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The naturally occurring cessation of a woman menstrating. It usually occurs between ages 45 and 55. The pause that refreshes.
Mary had her menopause recently.
by Cranberry Bob March 27, 2022
Get the Menopause mug.A sad period of time in a married man's life when he simply doesn't get any action from the wife and is essentially (paused). This usually (though not specifically) occurs in middle age. But depending on the situation can occur at any point in time if the man is not careful.
Sadly (assuming sad..) the married 'manopaused' man therefore has no choice but to seek alternative sources of extra marital fulfillment, if successful he becomes (un-paused) but is now in serious risk of extreme excitement resulting in vastly improved looks, healthier eating, great ideas, amazing productivity, and general 'teenage' like behavior after which then carries the risk of 'getting caught'. Assuming he even has the confidence to even dare to attempt this bold move in the first place the first section of this applies. If not then,
He simply accepts he is 'manopaused', and lives the life of a eunuch
Sadly (assuming sad..) the married 'manopaused' man therefore has no choice but to seek alternative sources of extra marital fulfillment, if successful he becomes (un-paused) but is now in serious risk of extreme excitement resulting in vastly improved looks, healthier eating, great ideas, amazing productivity, and general 'teenage' like behavior after which then carries the risk of 'getting caught'. Assuming he even has the confidence to even dare to attempt this bold move in the first place the first section of this applies. If not then,
He simply accepts he is 'manopaused', and lives the life of a eunuch
"Ah man, look at that dude over there, he looks so pent up, he must be manopaused, I sure hope he went with option 1 :)"
"I saw a dude today in the supermarket, I could just tell by all those shopping bags he had been manopaused.. I saw option 2 written all over him"
"I saw a dude today in the supermarket, I could just tell by all those shopping bags he had been manopaused.. I saw option 2 written all over him"
by Bigabongo June 11, 2020
Get the Manopause mug.When a mature woman wakes in the middle of the night moist, with a quicken heart beat and a feeling of utter sexual satisfaction. All the while her hands are nowhere near her sweet spot.
wet menopause sex
wet menopause sex
Betty recognized the positive side of menopause when she awoke from her erotic dream, wet with a quickened pulse, a feeling of utter joy and completely alone following her MWD (menopause wet dream)
by Badnancie September 25, 2014
Get the Menopause wet dream mug.The natural and permanent cessation of mestruation. Occurs in women usually between the ages of 45 and 55. Results in the inability to produce children.
Kid 1: Hey, what's up?
Kid 2: I just learned my mom has menopause... looks like I'm not going to be having anymore brothers or sisters!
Kid 2: I just learned my mom has menopause... looks like I'm not going to be having anymore brothers or sisters!
by KillaPBJ April 17, 2006
Get the menopause mug.A special time in a woman's life when they can't have babies anymore. They get hormonal, mean, rude, short-tempered, angry, and awkward. Bad time for teenagers to live with their moms.
by Ssssshhhhooooaaaawwwwttttyyyy January 13, 2009
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